>So many people are trying to "fix" various aspects of their lives--from
their finances to their children, careers, marriages, co-workers and even their
parents. Trying to fix whatever we perceive to be wrong, can be a sure-fire
recipe for stress.
Along with this "I have to fix it myself" mentality comes a plethora of
physical and emotional troubles, including anxiety, full-blown panic attacks,
depression, obsessive-compulsive disorders, insomnia, tense muscles and more.
Considering that more than 80 percent of all doctor visits are due to
stress-related illness, I think we need to examine our lives and
I was forced to do this when stress took a serious toll on my health. Panic
attacks, hormonal imbalance, chronic fatigue syndrome and more sidelined me to
the point of almost giving up. I had worn myself out trying to be a human
For the first time in my life, I had to face the reality that I alone could
not fix or control anything. But I discovered that someone else could.
During my low period, I delved deeply into the Word of God. I had an
incredible revelation: Not only is God in control of our lives, but He carried
us even when we were in our mothers' wombs. As little infants, we relaxed
because He was in control.
When I realized that someone was in control who could fix my life with much
more expertise than I had and who always has my best interests at heart, I was
able to let go, step back and live my life from a changed perspective. I now am
able to honor the people in my life for who they are and not try to make them
into who I think they should be.
To help curb your desire to control you must first understand why you
behave this way.
Many times we become controllers when we experience situations in our lives
that leave us feeling hurt, vulnerable or rejected.
A childhood that was filled with a lack of praise and approval, the divorce
of parents, death, an unstable upbringing, the responsibility of raising other
siblings, a strict religious environment, or a family history of alcoholism and
low self-esteem can be a contributing factor. Because of such a background,
people develop controlling personality traits that include high expectations,
extremely analytical or perfectionist tendencies, obsessive thinking and
The real root of the problem of control, however, is fear. Fear paralyzes
your life and your health. Fear plays a part in many diseases we face in these
The good news is that your healing can begin with the realization of how
great a part fear has played in turning you into a control freak. You must face
your fear head-on.
Yes, it took years of hurt and trauma to bring you to this point, but you
must deal if you are going to heal! God has not given us a spirit of fear (see 2
Here are some steps to take to turn your situation around:
Pray and ask God to forgive you for anything you may have done that has
harmed another individual.
Forgive anyone who has harmed you.
Let God take
past hurt from you. Take it to the altar and leave it there.
reject every fear that comes into your mind and tries to take you captive.
Rebuke it and ask for the peace of God to surround you.
It's worth the effort. Just think of all the anxiety, depression, heartache
and medical bills that will be avoided as you relax, knowing "God is in