5 Questions to Help You Know if You're a People-Pleaser

(Photo by Marina Vitale on Unsplash)

Last week, I sat across the examining bed where my 90-year-old Mom waited for the doctor.

After a complete check-up, the nurse came in with a device to measure her eye pressure. A simple procedure that took seconds.

But the results nearly knocked me off my chair.

"Hmmm," the nurse said, "the pressure in one eye is 54."

Fifty-four? The normal range is between 15 to 20.

I pulled out my cell and requested transportation to her ophthalmologist.

Hours later, my Mom sat in his examining chair. "Chin here and forehead on the bar please," he said. "The eye pressure is perfectly fine."

What Happened?

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The nurse at the previous doctor's office used the incorrect device, unreliable and pitifully inaccurate.

How many times have we done the same—use the wrong measuring device? Often, we look to the world to measure our sense of worth. We look to our job to bring fulfillment. We hope that pleasing our family will bring satisfaction. And we trust that pleasing our spouse will bring happiness.

Unaware, we use each of these as the device to measure our sense of contentment and fulfillment.

Why Do We Do It?

Because we want something in return. We hope the outcome will fill our need for validation.

But do we find it? Hardly. In fact, rather than gratification, disappointment comes instead.

What went wrong? Did we choose to please others before pleasing God?

I Invite You to Take the Test

Do you fall in these categories?

  1. With the best intentions dancing in your heart, do you put your trust in others? Careful because..."Thus says the Lord: Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, and whose heart departs from the Lord. For he will be like a bush in the desert and will not see when good comes, but will inhabit the parched places in the wilderness, in a salt land and not inhabited" (Jer. 17:5-6).
  2. Does the validation and approval from those around you increase your self-confidence? "How can you believe, who receive glory from one another and do not seek the glory that comes from the only God" (John 5:44).
  3. Are you fearful others will criticize or judge you? "The fear of man brings a snare, but whoever puts his trust in the Lord will be safe" (Prov. 29:25).
  4. Are you a people-pleaser—eager to do what others want and expect? "For they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God" (John 12:43).
  5. Is pleasing God part of your daily plan? Do you share in Paul's self-reflection: "Am I now seeking the approval of men or of God? Or am I trying to please men? For if I were still trying to please men, I would not be the servant of Christ" (Gal. 1:10).

Pleasing God first brings the ultimate pleasure for the heart. Serving others is the sacrifice that brings joy with no expectations in return.

Let's Pray

Father, thank You for the wisdom to choose to please You above all. Guard my attitude from wanting to seek validation from others. In Jesus' name, amen.

Whom do you long to please these days?

Janet Perez Eckles is an international speaker and the author of four books. She has helped thousands conquer fear and bring back joy.

This article originally appeared at janetperezeckles.com.

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