I thought we were good together, and then you do this to me. You seemed to be there every time I needed you. I thought you made my life better and we were the perfect team.
You listened when I cried, and your tangible presence comforted me in a way I thought none other could. But you made me feel better, if only for a few minutes, and that's all I cared about at the time.
You were my companion in the good times and bad. If I was lonely, you were right there with me. It didn't matter that I didn't know who to call because you were there. You soothed the pain of the loneliness.
When I was tired, you were the one who give me the pick me up. You made me feel like I had energy to go on, even if for just a few more minutes. I just knew life was better with you.
When I was ready to blow my top, you were there, soothing me. Just one whiff of you, and I knew all my problems were gone. You calmed me and made the anger go away; and if it came back, you were there to help me again. You always did your job.
Stress would overwhelm me, and I would run straight to you. You were the best at making me forget about everything I had to do and just focus on my needs and wants in the moment. You seemed to take care of them all.
You protected me to make sure no men would get close and take advantage of me. I knew with you by my side, I was always safe, because you padded the distance between me and danger.
I never had to field off those who wanted to take advantage of me. You made them go away and leave me alone.
Even in good times, you made everything better. Just one look at you and I knew soon I would be satisfied, even if it was only for a short time. You made everything worth it.
You helped me celebrate when I had worked long hours and no one noticed, or when I met a self-imposed deadline and wanted to reward myself. You were always my first choice.
Now I learn, with all we've been through, you have not had my best interests at heart. You have been deceiving me. As a matter of fact, you had planned a course for my demise, destruction and even eventual death.
Why would you do that to me? What did I ever do to you? You were my everything. My comforter, companion, protector, lover and friend.
I heard the doctor. I know you've been trying to kill me. And for once, I look at you and do not want you in my life any more.
Because you see, for once, I'm choosing life. I'm deciding I'm worth more than a cookie or a piece of my favorite cake. I'm worth more than the best ice cream I can buy and the most decadent brownie ever made.
So this is it. We've had a long journey together and it's been downhill all the way. You no longer are in control of me.
All my life, you've been slowly destroying me and I have been letting you.
You are not a comfort. You make me extremely uncomfortable.
You are no friend. You seek to harm me.
You do not help me have energy. You spike my energy for a minute and then I crash and burn.
You do not give me peace when I am angry. You only help me stuff my anger to the point that impacts every part of my life.
You do not relieve my stress. You add pounds to my body, which increases my stress and taxes my heart.
You do not protect me. You are the one thing that is systematically destroying me, leaving me vulnerable to every disease imaginable.
This is goodbye. You are no longer my friend. I see you for the monster you are.
Sugar, you are out of my life for good. Oh, and don't try coming back. I will not change my mind.
I know now that I have been putting you above God in my life, above my own desire to live. I will not do that any longer. God is my comforter, companion and protector. No substance can provide for me like He can. I see you for what you are. You are a tool of the devil in my life.
I am finally free of you and believe me, nothing tastes as good as freedom feels. Nothing!
I can finally say with confidence, "'All things are lawful to me,' but not all things are helpful. 'All things are lawful for me,' but I will not be brought under the power of anything" (1 Cor. 6:12).
Teresa Shields Parker is the author of seven books, all available on Amazon. Her latest book, Sweet Hunger: Developing an Appetite for God, is available now, and Sweet Grace: How I Lost 250 Pounds is the No. 1 Christian weight-loss memoir. She is also a writing and weight-loss coach, blogger, speaker, wife and mother. Visit her online at TeresaShieldsParker.com to find her books, coaching programs and free gifts.
This article originally appeared at teresashieldsparker.com.
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