Your words can either tear down or build up your husband.
Your words can either tear down or build up your husband. (Photo by Angelina Litvin on Unsplash)

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My husband, Samuel, and I have been married now for more than 21 years. We fell in love in college, and we fell in love hard. I am so very grateful! The Lord gave us such a once-in-a-lifetime type of love, the kind of love that has its roots in eternity, that withstands the tests of times, and that has the Lord's hand and His Word intermingled and interwoven in the very fabric of our relationship. I thank the Lord because, truth be told, we are very far from being perfect. If it were not for the Lord, where would we be? We will never claim to have operated in perfection, especially when it comes to the maturation of ourselves and our marriage.

Early in our marriage, people would comment that we looked so happy and didn't fight. That, of course was many moons ago, before we began our growth. We become very acquainted with the art of disagreement. We have gone through maturation periods that have stretched our faith, our trust and our very marriage. As a wife, I have run through the gamut of emotions. I have questioned myself, my worth, my relevance, my beauty, my appeal and my place, as well as my sanity.

I was so busy fantasizing and idealizing, attempting to recreate the past of a mate, that in the beginning I robbed myself of appreciating and honoring the great person, husband, father, provider, man of God and man of integrity that my husband had become. It became many times like it says in Proverbs 27:15: "A continual dropping on a very rainy day and a contentious [having a tendency to argument or strife; quarrelsome] woman are alike."

Picture that: It just doesn't stop. It keep pouring; it keeps storming. Wives, sometimes our "reminder," our "Why can't you? " or "Didn't you say you were going to do?" can eventually become a deluge for our husbands ...

Our attitudes can either reinforce or hinder our husbands. Wives, our husbands can either be "broken" and dismantled, or validated and healed, by the words we speak into their lives. As the Bible tells us, we were created to be his "help meet." So the way I see it, every time a husband see his wife, he is to "meet help" and not hindrance. Proverbs 18:22 says we as wives are to be found a "good thing," someone favorable the Lord has given to our husbands. Therefore, we need to empower, elevate and show appreciation for our men, not emasculate them with our attitudes.

Ecclesiastes 9:9 says, "Enjoy life with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun; because that is your reward in life and in your toil because you have labored under the sun."

This article is an excerpt from The Be-Attitudes: Women and the Many Faces We Wear by Karen Elaine Steward. Copyright 2017 by Karen Elaine Stewart.

Karen Elaine Stewart is a native of Jamaica, West Indies. She believes that family is the most precious of all gifts and has made her focus raising her children and assisting her husband, Samuel, in building their company. Along with her husband, she has founded the YouTube broadcasts "God's Dynamics: Family Building" and "God's Dynamics: What's The Word?" where they offer devotional commentaries and share real-life family experiences designed to encourage, strengthen and enrich the lives of many. She and Samuel have two homes, one in the Poconos Mountains and one in New Jersey, where they live with their nine children. Visit her site at godsdynamics.com.

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