The Secret Sorrow Women Carry

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Churches don't address this topic affecting women.
Churches don't address this topic affecting women. (Matthew Henry)

Why is it that so many struggle with repeated miscarriage and infertility, but it's such a taboo topic to discuss? We don't talk about it with most of our family, our close circle of friends, our pastors, or mentors, and it's certainly not a social media announcement. Instead, behind closed doors, we remember. We remember the cold ultrasound room, the tears that left our eyes as the news was delivered, the outline of a baby on the screen with no heartbeat, the missing fetus who never developed or the repeated pregnancy tests that were all negative. The growing belly, gender reveal and baby shower would not be occurring within the next nine months. We know all too well what it's like to go from cloud nine excitement to the deepest depth of discouragement. The shoulders of our husbands, and maybe our pillows, are the only ones that really know the suffering we are encountering. We wake up in the morning, get dressed, go to work, run businesses, smile and celebrate others while silently, we are suffering. We are crying on the inside while glowing on the outside. We are dealing with death without being able to openly mourn.

Miscarriage is a silent suffering. It's a private matter that we dare not discuss publicly. I am choosing to break the silence in hopes that my story will transform the faith of so many women who are still waiting for their children to manifest on this side of heaven. Maybe one day, you will do the same. You are not alone, and you should not have to suffer and heal alone.

Excerpt adapted from Miscarried Joy by Tanika Fitzgerald © 2016 Nyree Press. Tanika Fitzgerald is a daughter of Christ, a wife to her husband, Maurice, a loving daughter, sister and friend. She is passionate about equipping women to grow spiritually, live balanced lives and helping them to become armed for victory in every area of their lives. Tanika is the visionary behind ARMED—a publication created to "Spiritually Equip YOU for Victory in Battle." She enjoys spending time at Lake Michigan, creating memories with her loved ones, reading a variety of books, writing and traveling the world with her husband.

Connect with Tanika Fitzgerald at, on Facebook (tanikafitzgerald) and on Twitter (TR_Fitzgerald).

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