What is it that causes the all-knowing, all-seeing God of the universe to turn His gaze toward earth? What is it that causes Him to make a move toward His people? What could possibly compel such a response in the heart of the King of Heaven?
Desperation. You see, our desperation touches the deep places in God's heart that has forever longed for us to want and need only Him. We were made for this. Once we penetrate such an intimate area of the heart of our God, He cannot help but respond from this place. With fire in His bosom and love on His lips, being stirred with zeal God begins to speak promises to our longings, life to our dead places, and freedom and healing over our lives. Miracles happen here.
"But how does this heavenly truth translate into our earthly lives?" A little over nine years ago I was in a very desperate place in my life. I had given birth to my second daughter, Emily, a few months prior. After experiencing one physical challenge after another as a result of giving birth to her, there was one that persisted—severe lower leg pain.
The pain would not let up, was getting worse, and was affecting my day-to-day activities. With a newborn and my older daughter, Sarah, who was 2 1/2, to take care of, I was feeling overwhelmed. Thoughts such as, " What am I going to do if the pain gets worse?" and " How am I going to be able to take care of these kids all day in this pain?" constantly filled my mind and aggravated the deep anxiety, insecurity and fear that had plagued me all my life. What I did next would change my life and story forever.
After laying both girls down for their afternoon nap, I went into my bedroom and threw myself across my bed. In utter desperation I cried out, " Jesus, I need you to heal me! I have two young girls to take care of and I hurt so badly." His response was immediate and actually caught me off-guard. "Go in and turn on the 700 Club" was the instant thought that entered my mind. After I walked into the living room and turned on the TV the next words I heard would catapult me into the new season God had ordained for me.
One of the co-hosts said, "Someone is having problems with the arches of your feet and it is affecting your lower legs. God is healing that." I had no idea what was causing my pain, and God not only diagnosed my condition, but promised to restore me. Two days later that diagnosis was confirmed by a physical therapist. I stood there as if heaven had just touched earth and the supernatural had collided with the natural. And I was left reeling as a result!
God would use His response to my situation to continue to reveal what He had in store for me in the coming months and years. Indeed, my desperation had moved the heart of God that longs to reach down with His mighty hand and rescue His children. The words of Psalm 33:18 are true that declare, "Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear Him, on those who hope in His mercy."
The Lord continued to unfold—like a beautiful flower opening—all the facets of His love, tenderness and healing that He wanted me to experience. He simply did not want to heal me physically, He longed to heal all of me. Life had left me a bit battered. Years of neglect, rejection and abuse had left me living in deep fear, insecurity and with a lack of knowing His deep affection for me.
The word of knowledge so graciously given to me by my God was now not only producing powerful results in my physical body, but as I continued to keep my eyes on Jesus, He restored me by the power of His Word and His precious Spirit. It did not happen overnight, but it occurred just the way He desired—through my desperation and through intimacy with Him.
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