After 10 years of successful ministry, we resigned our positions with Teen Challenge and headed to Mexico, a move we later regretted. But God had a plan that would totally redirect the course of my life.
After five months, we moved back to the states. I was devastated. This woman of God spiraled down into a state of depression, eventually ending up on antidepressants. I was a wreck, and nobody knew what to do with me. I lived this way for months, giving up on anything and everything.
I remember telling our pastor, "I know Jesus as not only my Savior but my friend. I am very close to Him. But I still have a hard time with God as my Father. I know He is Father, but my Father?" I knew this had a lot to do with my biological father being detached throughout my entire life. On my own, I couldn't overcome the feeling that there wasn't any way God could be my Father. Since my biological father was absent throughout my entire life, I lived with the reasoning that Father God was also absent in my life. I knew God created me, but I thought He really didn't want to be with me or be involved in my life.
About this time I found out that our church was taking their first group to the revival in Toronto known as The Father's Blessing. As soon as I walked into the church, I sensed a love that I had never known before. As the first service began, our team was seated in the very back of the huge room of approximately four thousand people from all around the world.
During worship I heard Pastor John Arnott say, "Anyone who speaks Spanish, come forward for prayer." Well, that was all I needed. I found myself up front with dark-skinned, black-haired Hispanics, with my eyes closed and in position to be prayed for. Someone barely touched me and said, "More, Lord." That was it! I landed on the floor and began to wail for 2.5 hours. I felt the love of my Father, like I had never felt before, flow in and through my being repeatedly. I was caught up into a love experience with Father God that transformed my life. It's been said that in my desperation, I stole the birthright.
When I got up, my life had been drastically impacted. I had been baptized in His perfect love. It wasn't a touch or a change; it was a transformation that has radically altered my life in every area ever since. Many who have known me through the years are a witness to this transformation.
He spoke to me as I got up off the floor, "Leanne, you're a woman of integrity, a woman of God with a successful ministry, with a heart after Me. But I don't want a woman of God anymore. I want a little girl who knows she has a big dad." God became my dad that day (Rom. 8:15).
Now that's my identity—a little girl with a big dad who loves me, is pleased with me, delights in me and finds me extraordinarily valuable! He doesn't tolerate me—He celebrates me! I'm no longer fatherless!
Listen to The Transformational Coach with Leanne Goff on Charisma Podcast Network now.
Leanne Goff is a catalytic leader. A pastor, author, international speaker, entrepreneur and business owner, Leanne is a power-packed minister on the subject of identity and destiny, as well as cultural transformation. She delivers her message of transformation with relevance, wit and intensity. Leanne has been personally mentored by Leif Hetland and trained as a 7-Mountain consultant by Lance Wallnau. Leanne is an ordained minister through Randy Clark's Apostolic Network and is also associated with the Global Legacy Network at Bethel Church in Redding, California.
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