Lust is an absolute liar. It will tell you anything to get you to indulge in inappropriate thoughts, fantasy and degradation.
In my book, Lust Free Living, I outline the many lies lust tells you and tips to fight them. In this article, I will tell you about three of the prevalent lies so you can better equip yourself against this evil enemy.
- Closeness – Everyone wants to feel close on a regular basis. You want to feel close, connected, wanted and desired—all healthy ways to feel. Having these feelings makes all the work of life somehow worth living.
Lust tells you that if you spend time with it, you will get positive, warm feelings. Over time, lust will sell you the idea that those feelings come only from lust. The truth is, lust poisons your ability to feel, so you become less connected and close to your wife, children, and even your friends and other family members.
Lust incrementally pulls you further away from the legitimate way you experience closeness and warmth in real relationships. As you attach to fantasy, thoughts, lustful opportunities and images, you get pulled further from your relationships with others and God. Oddly enough, until others point it out or you find freedom from lust, you can feel the closeness to the fantasy world, but not the distance in your real relationships.
Living a life free of lust is just the opposite. As you pull further and further away from lust, you can truly experience closeness in all your relationships. As men we just have to choose from whom or what we want to get our feelings of closeness.
- Can't say no – Over time, lust gets you to believe many lies. One of these happens to be that you just can't say no. If lust shows you a woman's body, body part, image or even a fantasy from a past experience, you have no power to say no. If lust can really get you to buy this lie, it can sell you more and more without any resistance from you. The impact of this lie is that you stop fighting.
The truth is, you can say no and you already do with several people in your life. You already have the strength, power, resolve and tools inside of you when you want to use them. When you are able to believe with all your heart you can say no to lust, you can resist it. You don't have to be weak; you can be strong from inside of yourself.
With the support people in your life, you can become an entire team telling lust "no." "No" is power. This power is something God has given to you to use at your discretion. Like Superman's strength, your ability to say no cripples lust into oblivion over time. Say, "No, I won't lust after her," long enough and lust believes you and becomes very quiet and distant from you.
- Never leave – There is great comfort for those of us who are married. We have a promise that our wives will never leave us. I love knowing Lisa is there today, tomorrow and until death do us part.
Lust likes to offer you a similar promise. As a teenager, lust creeps into your mind, your life and your sexuality, subtly promising you a lifelong relationship you can depend on, in which you will be comforted, nurtured and made to feel safe. The lie continues to be whispered in your ear even into adulthood.
The truth is, you are an eternal being and lust doesn't choose how long it stays with you. You hold the divorce papers for lust in your pocket right now. Lust knows this, but works hard to lead you to believe you will be together until death.
You are not married to lust. You are married to Christ (and your wife, if married). Lust is dispensable, and will ultimately leave you at death. You will live eternally without lust's false comfort and lies.
Since you can live without lust and will live without it in eternity, you might as well divorce it as soon as possible. It's up to you to sign the papers so you can live lust-free the rest of your life.
It's important to recognize the lies and weapons that lust will use against you. Use those weapons against it and make the choice to stop lusting today. Furthermore, equip yourself with as many tools and weapons as you have available to fight this evil enemy.
One great resource would be the Integrity Journey Conference coming up in July in Colorado Springs. This is a conference has gathered the top leaders in the nation who help people battle lust and live moral lives every day. On top of that, pray daily and never give up the fight against lust no matter how many lies it throws at you.
Doug Weiss, Ph.D., is a nationally known author, speaker and licensed psychologist. He is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the author of several books, including Lust Free Living. You may contact Dr. Weiss via his website, drdougweiss.com; on hisFacebook; by phone at 719-278-3708 or through email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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