1. "As long as I don't..."
Lust is conniving. Lust makes you believe you have powers you don't have so that you can have your way with lustful thoughts. There is a lie lust breathes into your life that allows you to incubate the seed. That's the lie of, "As long as I don't ______ " then lust lets you fill in the blank. This lie makes you believe that, "As long as I don't ________": look at women at church; look at real women, just pictures; don't participate in sex acts with them; don't touch them; don't get caught, or; don't pay for it, it's OK. This list can be endless. You believe that as long as you don't cross some self-created line, you are okay. In my experience, at some point, those who buy this lie of having a line move it, or allow it to become blurry because it has become too tangled.
When you accept the truth that you are not allowed to lust, you won't be deceived by this. If you believe you lust, you will be brought to the line. When you don't cross that line, you may feel good because you didn't do "X" behavior. Know now that if you are contemplating the lie, "As long as I don't ______ ," you are believing a lie that will destroy your life. You have created a deception—or several deceptions—giving yourself permission to lust. Remember the core of lust is to think differently than God. To think like God is to believe that no lust is the line.
2. "I can do it alone."
There are some lies lust likes to use more than others. One of the top five is, "You can handle this by yourself." Once you believe this lie, all hope of you getting better is gone.
Lust has you all alone. It's up to both of you to decide what you will permit, how regularly you will do it and even what other lies you can use to cover your tracks. You have chosen to not bring any light to this area, so lust can hide in the secrecy to which both of you have agreed.
Lust leads you to believe you can handle it all by yourself. This secret lets lust get away with all the destruction it has planned for your life. The truth is, lust—like most sins—is a team effort. James 5:16 tells us that if we confess to each other, we can be healed. Most men aren't free from lust because they believe the lie of secrecy instead of the Word of God.
I couldn't have even begun to break lust in my life until I confessed to another man. Once I obeyed the truth of James 5:16, I started to move toward a lust-free lifestyle. Had I continued all those years ago to disobey that one truth of confession to a man, I would never be where I am today.
My hope for you today is that you accept the truth that you are not allowed to lust, and that you are not alone in this journey. Break the hold lust has over your life today!
Doug Weiss, Ph.D., is a nationally known author, speaker and licensed psychologist. He is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the author of several books including, Lust Free Living. You may contact Dr. Weiss via his website, drdougweiss.com or on his Facebook, by phone at 719-278-3708 or through email at [email protected].
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