The lust inside you will try to come at you in a legalistic manner and suggest, "Well, you're not committing adultery, you're not actually even touching them." Most of you have heard this insidious lie which tries to grant you permission to lust more and plant more seeds. You begin lusting longer, allow the seeds to grow and ultimately establish sexual strongholds in your thoughts, beliefs or behaviors.
Jesus regularly taught about the law of the seed planted through praying, giving and lusting. The ongoing lust of a woman or women in general has the DNA of unfaithfulness. The moment you break away from your covenant of forsaking all others, you create lustful, sexual interactions with this woman—real, imagined or in fantasy. You begin to attach to her in an inappropriate manner. If you act out sexually to this imagery, in your mind and heart, you have reinforced behavior toward this person, image or fantasy.
Lusting is a behavior of unfaithfulness toward God, your wife and yourself. The DNA of unfaithfulness and lust is sin and death (James 1:15). If you know a seed is a weed, why would you call it anything other than a weed? Why would you intentionally plant a weed in your mind, heart and sexuality that is guaranteed to hurt you in so many ways? At its core, lust carries the DNA of adultery from start to finish. So don't accept the lie that planting an apple seed doesn't plant an apple.
Lust is deceptive. It deceives you into thinking you aren't hurting your children when you lust. That concept is a lie.
I remember receiving an email from a woman in Africa who shared that her husband was a massive cheater, and that her daughter was going down the same road and had multiple affairs. She asked me why this was. I had to tell her to read Hosea 4, which explains clearly that when men follow after lust and those behaviors, it affects their children.
When I wrote the book, Beyond the Bedroom: Healing for Adult Children of Sex Addicts, I did research on the impact sexual addiction had on children of men who struggled. The research uncovered: 81 percent had self-esteem issues; 79 percent were impacted spiritually; 70 percent were impacted emotionally; 71 percent were impacted in their dating lives; 69 percent were impacted in their marriages and 64 percent were impacted in their romantic relationships. If you believe the lie that lust doesn't affect your children, those statistics are proof that it does.
What a man protects, he loves. Lust wants you to protect it and its secrets, make it sacred and keep it safe as it inflicts its pain and wraps its tentacles around your children. Lust hates your family and tries to keep you from realizing the damage it can do to them. When you live a lust-free life, you are doing the most to protect those you truly love.
Doug Weiss, Ph.D., is a nationally known author, speaker and licensed psychologist. He is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the author of several books including, Lust Free Living. You may contact Dr. Weiss via his website, drdougweiss.com or on his Facebook, by phone at 719-278-3708 or through email at [email protected].
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