- Walk in the Spirit
Scripture tells us to walk in the Spirit so we won't satisfy the desires of the flesh (Gal. 5:16). The Scripture continues to list the behaviors of the sinful nature. Inappropriate sexuality is definitely a front-runner on this list.
You may be asking, how do I walk in the Spirit? You may have images of deep prayer, fasting, and memorizing Scripture. While those are all fantastic spiritual disciplines, I would rather give you the tip Paul used in 1 Corinthians 13 about love.
Walking in love is walking in the Spirit. If you love God and bring Him into a potential lust situation, it will decrease. If you love your wife, children, parents, pastor and church members, your lust will decrease. Even if you just loved the woman you want to lust after, and put her needs first to be holy, human and real, your lust would decrease.
Love is walking in the Spirit. Lust needs selfishness for fuel. When you walk in the Spirit, lust's fuel supply dries up. Say goodbye to lust when you start walking in love.
- Not My Inheritance
This tip has helped me personally in breaking free from lust's deception. I believe God gives us each our own inheritance. Nobody can have or take my inheritance and it includes many different things. One part is that my inheritance alone is my precious wife, Lisa.
Your wife is your only sexual inheritance from God. The other women, images and fantasies are not your God-given inheritance. When you face a situation to lust, you can simply state, "Not my inheritance," in your mind.
The woman you are looking at is not yours in any way, shape or form. You can't make a covenant of love to her. In no way can you create a scenario that she's your inheritance. Accepting your inheritance fully allows you to reject someone else's inheritance.
That woman is not your inheritance; she is someone else's. Whoever he is, he is trusted to protect and not consume his inheritance, much as you hope the men in your wife's and daughter's worlds will honor your inheritance. So honor their inheritance by simply stating in your mind or even out loud, "Not my inheritance."
- Attitude or Gratitude
This tip will help you combat the lie that your wife isn't enough. When the enemy and lust want to talk about your wife, it's important to have a tried and true method to defeat the attack.
Lust wants you to focus on your wife's flaws. What you want to focus on is her awesomeness and her strengths. She is a uniquely designed woman of God and created just for you. You know her more intimately than anyone and would be the best person to highlight her strengths.
Write down on paper or in your phone a list of five to ten things you absolutely love about your wife. For single guys, list five features of a woman of God. She is an amazing person spiritually, intellectually, emotionally and physically.
Keep the list in your wallet or in your phone. Anytime you hear your wife being criticized in your mind, pull out your list and say these strengths out loud. You can start thanking God for these strengths in your wife. God loves hearing appreciation for the gift He has given you so freely.
When you speak these out loud or thank God for your wife's strengths, lust's lies appear to be petty and weak and you stay in an attitude of gratitude toward the woman you really love.
Doug Weiss, Ph.D., is a nationally known author, speaker and licensed psychologist. He is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the author of several books including, Lust Free Living. You may contact Dr. Weiss via his website, drdougweiss.com or on his Facebook, by phone at 719-278-3708 or through email at [email protected].
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