Pleasure is so important to all of our lives, and yet we rarely if ever take a moment to really understand, appreciate and plan for it. Understanding your pleasure zones and the pleasure zones of others can also help you in your marriage and with family, friends and even coworker relationships. The application of understanding pleasure zones is as limitless as relationships themselves.
The sensory pleasures are the pleasures that mostly involve your body. As we discuss these sensory pleasures, you will be able to see that any one of these sensory pleasures can have many varied applications. Two people can both have the same primary sensory pleasure, but with extremely different applications of that pleasure. So just because you and a significant other person can have the same primary pleasure zone, you may enjoy two completely different ones to experience this pleasure.
There isn't a soul with sight who hasn't enjoyed visual pleasure. The sheer pleasure of watching a sunset, a child play, the beauty of architecture and the awesome beauty of the opposite sex are all visual pleasures.
I live in Colorado Springs, and every day I wake up and look at Pikes Peak; it is visual candy. If I want more visual candy, I can go down the street from my office to the Garden of the Gods and walk around these amazing rock formations.
The potential of visual pleasure is everywhere, from sea to shining sea. There are the visual pleasure of creatures, plants and an endless array of fellow creatures on the planet.
If all that wasn't enough, we have the visual pleasures of our own human-made beauty. There are many ways to experience visual pleasure. Who hasn't gotten so lost in a movie you almost forgot you were alive? Our culture is full of visual pleasure, from the internet to cell phones.
Visual pleasures are important to all of us to some degree. For many, it's a greater or primary pleasure. Some people will watch the sun go down, observe a wild animal for hours or just be amazed at the art involved on one petal of a flower in bloom.
They take the time to really see their world. For the person whose primary pleasure zone is in seeing this, then this would be the well from which they drink their pleasure. It's as if the sight of whatever captures their heart creates pleasure for them. They enjoy sights more than most. These people can become great astronomers, photographers and movie or sports critics and have hobbies that reflect their need for visual pleasuring.
The person who bird-watches for hours and checks off their list what they have seen could easily be a person with a primary visual sensory pleasure zone. A man or woman who has to see if their children are asleep and can just regularly behold the pure beauty of their sleeping child may also have a visual primary sensory zone.
This sensory pleasure is one most of us have enjoyed from time to time: the hug of a friend, a caress from a loved one, snuggling with your spouse, petting your dog or cat. The touch pleasure zone involves the largest organ of your body, your skin.
From head to toe, your skin covers you with endless nerves that can receive the pleasure of touch. For those of you who drink your pleasure through touch, you know exactly what I mean. Touch can go way beyond receiving a massage.
I know people who love to play with dirt. The weekend gardener who digs and plants with their hands often loves the feel of the dirt between their fingers. The person who cooks with their hands, mixing the egg salad together without utensils is drinking in the pleasure of touch.
Most of us know a person who can sit on their sofa and pet their dog or cat for hours. I know my dog, Moses, absolutely has touch as his primary sensory zone. When Daddy (that's me) comes home, this very large dog will sit down right in front of me and wait for me to rub him down.
He wants more than a pat on the head and a "good doggie." He wants a deep rub of his back and shoulders. He won't let me continue on my journey through the house until his primary sensory pleasure zone is met adequately.
Now the sensory pleasure of touch is different for everyone. Some like to mostly receive touch; others mostly want to give touch. Some people give or receive equally touch because to them either is pleasurable.
If this is your primary sensory pleasure zone, this is a real need. What I mean is this isn't just a "want," although those whose primary pleasure is not touch may think that it is. Oh no, if your primary pleasure is touch, and you are not touching or being touched, you get a little weird. After a good touching or giving touch, it's like the planets line up all over again, and you are ready to do life.
For some of you, this pleasure zone is the big enchilada. I mean who hasn't really received pleasure from some form of food? Food and taste are so a part of our everyday experience. Like you, I love taste. I love different flavors, sauces, temperatures and even spices.
How many of us have enjoyed that steak, seafood or vegetable dish that's cooked with a different twist? And of course, I must talk about sweets. sweets?
I don't know who created baking, but my, oh my, they are special people to all of us. How many pies, cakes, puddings and candies have we given ourselves over the years? Who doesn't love that season between Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's? Why the desserts are as steady as the brooks of Colorado. I mean at the office, home and while visiting others, sweets are everywhere. It tastes like heaven all day long.
Now for the person whose primary pleasure zone is taste, they rarely understand those who do not really experience taste as a primary pleasure. They don't understand as we go on and on about a sauce or flavor for minutes and disturb their otherwise quiet meal.
Trust me; there are people whose pleasure is not taste. I have a friend who doesn't like sweets at all. He cannot be tempted into eating a cake, pie, candy or sugary soda. He has no real taste pleasure zone. I say this for those who have a primary pleasure zone of taste to be patient and accepting when they don't want to clap with you over that piece of something spectacular that you just experienced.
Doug Weiss, Ph.D., is a nationally known author, speaker and licensed psychologist. He is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the author of several books including, The Power of Pleasure. You may contact Dr. Weiss via his website, drdougweiss.com or on his Facebook, by phone at 719-278-3708 or through email at [email protected].
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