Lust-free Tip 1—Owning
Until you can fully own your lust (take responsibility for it and don't blame the devil or others), it will be very unlikely that you will live your life lust-free. When Jesus healed people, they often came and proclaimed their condition. You must own your lust before you can start the amazing journey of living lust-free.
Lust-free Tip 2—It's a Choice
It's a choice you can make. If you don't think living lust free is a choice, you can't walk in freedom. Remember, there are some women you don't lust after. Your daughter, niece, mother, aunt and any other women you truly respect. So you have already been successful at not lusting. You are capable of a more lust-free life in the future.
Lust-free Tip 3—Stronger
When you choose a lust-free lifestyle, you start to become weaker at lusting. You start to see a woman who is inappropriately dressed and feel sad for her. You begin creating strong, lust-free muscles, thoughts and beliefs. Here's the good news: Since you're in charge, you get to choose how you get stronger and better.
Lust-free Tip 4—Willingness Matters
The lust you have agreed with, considered and participated in is still there. Behind the choice to lust, you had two options: lust or not. You have probably had moments of both, and you realize that willingness played an important role in the choice you made.
Lust-free Tip 5—Pray for Yourself
Daily prayer is important for living a lust-free life. This prayer can be easy: "Jesus, I thank you for dying so I can be lust-free today." Often men will choose to pray throughout the day to maintain the lifestyle they want to live. God will not withhold from you anything you regularly pray for that is in His will. Living lust-free is definitely in His will. Living lust-free is the way Jesus is currently living and wants us all to live.
Lust-free Tip 6—Pray for Them
When you pray for someone, you automatically make him or her a person. They stop being the object you have lusted after. Early in my battle with lust, I found that when I prayed for women instead of lusting after them, I saw each one as a person—and even how God saw them. Praying for these women gives you God's eyes toward them. God's thoughts are a definite antidote for lust.
Lust-free Tip 7—Scripture
When you believe a Scripture, lust has no strength against it. Scripture does what kryptonite does to Superman: It weakens the grip of lust on your mind and can make it quickly flee from your heart. Remember, lust is your flesh. The Word of God can kill your flesh and heal you at the same time—like nothing else on this planet.
Lust-free Tip 8—In the Moment
Simply put a rubber band around your wrist and when you start to lust, snap it hard.
Currently, you are giving your brain positive reinforcement when you lust. You escape reality, you feel desired, you fantasize and sometimes even receive a chemical reaction in your brain from the risk and excitement you feel. When you positively reinforce your brain, it will heighten your desire to repeat that behavior.
The rubber-band technique creates a negative reinforcement for lust and sends your brain the message: I don't want to do this anymore.
Lust-free Tip 9—Keep Track
Over the next month, I challenge you to keep a notepad or use your phone to track how often you lust. When I say lust, I mean every time you objectify, scan, double take or fantasize about a woman, either real or in an image.
You will be amazed at how often you plant new seeds of lust or cultivate old ones in thirty days. This tip will help you move out of a place of denial about how often you lust, and let you know if lust is an issue for you.
Lust-free Tip 10—Memorize
Scriptures are powerful tools to memorize, but you also need to equip yourself with some truths against lust. Let me give you a few examples to get you started: She's a daughter of God. Lust hurts my children. Lust breaks God's heart. I am not allowed to lust. She is holy. Lust hurts my wife. I am holy and this is unacceptable.
Living a lust-free lifestyle is a combination of several quick decisions. Regardless of how long your road is to get and maintain a lust-free lifestyle, the decisions are the same.
You must decide to become lust-free. You must have the tools you are willing to master on a daily basis. The battle may be minute by minute in the beginning, so you have to commit to brutal honesty with yourself, God and another man (don't keep trying by yourself). You have to commit to start every day fresh. You may lose a fight here and there, but today is a new day, and you are totally forgiven of your past.
A few consistent daily choices create a habit of preparation to defeat lust and make you ready to win. Men who make a daily choice to prepare, get and stay lust-free earlier and longer than those who wait for lust to decide when and where to fight. Be proactive; start daily disciplines as a part of your life, and you will be victorious.
It is possible to walk in freedom from lust. The battle will make you stronger and more capable of helping other men find freedom as well. This is not only a calling to set you free, but to free our brothers and the church globally.
Doug Weiss, Ph.D. is a nationally known author, speaker and licensed psychologist. He is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the author of several books including, Lust Free Living. You may contact Dr. Weiss via his website, drdougweiss.com or on his Facebook, by phone at 719-278-3708 or through email at [email protected].
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