Let me explain what I mean by dropping your sword. I believe part of every man's role in life is to be a protector. God gives you a spiritual sword to protect yourself and those you love.
Here is the limitation of the sword: It can only go in one direction at a time. In other words, your sword is either facing the enemy or it's facing those you say you love.
Now I don't think any man sits down and says, "I want to aim my sword toward my family. I want to bludgeon my precious wife, sons or daughters. I want to destroy trust and create immense pain in my life and theirs." Yet, this is exactly what is happening.
You and I need to aim our swords against the enemy's plan for our life, so we don't one day find our family bludgeoned and become the perpetrator of this crime on those we love.
Let's talk about the characteristics of a man who drops his sword.
A Dropped Sword
1) Has never committed to live a clean life.
As men who live in a very perverted world, unlike any other generation before us, where Christians carry a porn store on their cell phones all day, often without any blocks or accountability, you have to commit to being clean to be successful. A man who will be vulnerable to drop his sword has never really assessed the battleground he is in, and his place in that battle.
This man has never, or completely, committed in his heart to be clean. Much like the man who never purposes to have a retirement, he lives life unaware that he will be broke because he didn't purpose to care for himself or his family.
Some have never been guided to have a moment with God and with other men to declare becoming clean sexually. If you're a young man, being clean is about freedom from porn, self-behavior and it's about how you date Christian women. If you are married, clean means being faithful and satisfied with the wife God gave to you as a gift. No man is worthy of a wife; she is a gift to you.
In this battle, the naive pay the heaviest price. If you haven't purposed to be clean when temptation comes, and I said when, not if, you can be truly caught off-guard, and with little strength or support, you might fail unnecessarily.
If you haven't taken a moment to commit to sexual purity, take a moment and pray a prayer similar to this one:
Lord, you saved me, all of me. I declare and purpose in my heart to be clean sexually. Forgive me of all my sexual sin, and I receive your death as full payment for my past. I commit all of my sexuality, my eyes and heart to obey only you. I am committed to do everything it takes to stay sexually clean. Thank you for all you have done to help me stay clean all the days of my life, in Jesus' name.
If you prayed this prayer, or one like this, then tell another man you have purposed to be sexually clean all of your life and have them pray in agreement with you about your clean commitment.
2) No Plan
Men who drop their sword often have no plan for sexual purity. They didn't see a need to walk through ideas that could help them stay clean. You know the old saying, "If you don't know where you're going, any road will get you there."
The man without a plan is very vulnerable. You could easily be in a compromising situation with yourself, the internet, Facebook or another social network, work or a social situation or on the road. Then whammo! Opportunity to sin and an ill-prepared man intersect. If you want an example, read Proverbs 7:7-23 about the simple young man who meets a prostitute, and it cost him dearly.
3) No Boundaries
One of the earliest signs to find out which way a man's sword is facing is by looking at his boundaries. A man who is more likely to drop his sword has no boundaries or very weak ones. He reads worldly material and watches sexuality in all forms of innuendos and scenarios on television. He doesn't mind occasional, partial or full, nudity on television or in magazines.
He hasn't taken advantage of a porn blocker like Covenant Eyes for phone and computer accountability, nor does he have an Internet activity report sent to an accountability partner. He is alone in the web of pornography called the internet. He can accidently or intentionally be hit by sexual material and not think twice about the incident. He has no boundaries concerned with talking to other women about their unhappy marriage, sex life, sexual humor, flirting or other inappropriate conversations. He hasn't thought through what's acceptable talk with women whether they are single or married.
Unknowingly, those men, like Lot in the Old Testament, are vexing their souls. They just don't know it. Lot didn't technically do anything wrong, he just beheld and listened to the sexual world on a regular basis.
4) Not Honest or Accountable
The sword drops here for sure. When you keep your sexual conversations, behaviors and pornography secret, you are in agreement with darkness. You cannot kill something you embrace. When you start lying, your sword is protecting lust and sin. Men protect what they love. When you protect lust and your sexual sin, your sword is down.
A lack of accountability is always a sign of a dropped sword. This combined with sexual independence, is a big sign. A man in this defenseless position is easy pickings for the enemy of our soul and our family.
A man with these characteristics is more likely to see himself very vulnerable to sexual temptation. A sword down is like telling the devil to come on and take his best shot.
Most of us don't want to see ourselves as the warrior in a sword-down position. You, I hope, want to be a clean warrior and a man who not only keeps himself clean, but protects his family, his brothers and leaves a legacy of a clean life. You deserve to be a clean man.
Be sure and check back on Friday for tips on how to aim your sword!
Doug Weiss, Ph.D., is a nationally known author, speaker and licensed psychologist. He is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the author of several books including, Clean. You may contact Dr. Weiss via his website, drdougweiss.com or on hisFacebook, by phone at 719-278-3708 or through email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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