Everyone knows that when he walks down the aisle he is "tying the knot," so to speak. Tying the knot is also known in the Bible as "becoming one flesh," (Gen. 2:24; Matt.19:5).
Becoming one flesh in marriage definitely involves a sexual experience. We give ourselves spiritually, physically, along with the full aspects of our soul to our spouse during this experience.
Unfortunately, a large majority of us reading this article didn't have their spouse as their first and only person they were "one" with. This principle of becoming one flesh also applies to those you may have had sexual relations with prior to or outside of your marriage. First Corinthians 6:16 states, "What? Do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For 'the two,' he says, 'shall become one flesh.'"
It is a serious decision to give of yourself sexually to others or the images of others. Many people believe that you actually are tied to the people you have had sex with in your lifetime. As a clinician who works primarily with men who have sexual addictions, I have seen many men struggle with fantasies and images from past sexual encounters or pornographic sexual experiences.
Many of my clients have found it very helpful to untie the knots from previous spirit, soul and body ties to those they have had sexual experiences with outside of marriage. My clients that have done this have reported a new freedom from lusting, objectifying.
I too have personally experienced an incredible new layer of freedom when the Lord took me through this process. I will outline for you a process for untying the knot to those you bonded yourself to in your sexual past, but before we do let's talk about your past for a moment.
Some of you may have been sexual with others, and these individuals are usually easy to remember. Some have had sexual experiences with one-night stands. Others have had sexual abuse experiences in their past.
In addition to these experiences with others, there are other sexual experiences you may have had. This would include sexual thoughts, images, beliefs and pornography in which you engaged. Some have found it also helpful to break the ties they had with their involvement in pornography, fantasies or any other specific targets of their sexuality from the past.
Go to the hidden places and break the ties with these individuals and the other secrets of your sexual past. You can live a much freer life after following this simple process.
To do this, first make a list of the people you have had a sexual history with. Include all sex acts not just intercourse, as well as pornography and fantasies in your sexual history list.
Second, confess these behaviors and beliefs as sin. Remember that fornication (sex before marriage), adultery (sex outside of your marriage) and lust are all still sin.
I have put together a prayer you can adopt as a guide for your confession and breaking these ties from your sexual past. Take each person's name and say this type of prayer out loud.
Father, I ask forgiveness for (fornication, adultery, lusting, fantasizing and so on). I ask in the name of Jesus that any spirit, soul or body ties or connections to this person (name here), image or fantasy be broken. I command all parts of my spirit, soul and body that I gave to this person's image or fantasy to be returned to me. I also command all spirit, soul and body ties to this person be returned to them. In the name of Jesus, I loose the angels of God to accomplish this.
I also ask you, Father, to put the blood of Jesus between me and this person (name), image or fantasy. I command any spirit or influence that has a right to me because of my sin to leave me right now in the name of Jesus. Amen.
As you repeat these prayers over past people, images or fantasies, the Lord may give you further information.
Breaking soul ties isn't the answer for all lusting or sexual issues. It is, however, one of the many tools a Christian can use to be successful. My hope is that every Christian can get and stay sexually free as we wait expectantly for our Lord's return.
Doug Weiss, Ph.D., is a nationally known author, speaker and licensed psychologist. He is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the author of several books including Clean and Lust Free Living. You may contact Dr. Weiss via his website, drdougweiss.com, by phone at 719-278-3708 or through email at [email protected].
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