Lust is a choice. You have a myriad of choices when you see a woman. Lust is only one, but in my opinion, the worst one. You are 100 percent responsible for every choice you make to lust: double taking, rubbernecking, scanning, objectifying, evaluating or in any other way making a lustful assessment of a woman, whether she is real or an image.
The devil can only offer a way to look at something, he can tempt you to think differently than God does. You can decide to think like God or you can lust and see a person or thing differently.
Weapon #1- Prayer
Prayer is a very important weapon to have in your arsenal. Prayer has a way of bringing heaven and the atmosphere of the kingdom of God to you on earth.
Daily prayer is important for living a lust-free life. This prayer can be easy: "Jesus, I thank you for dying so I can be lust-free today." Often men will choose to pray throughout the day to maintain the lifestyle they want to live. God will not withhold from you anything you regularly pray for that is in His will. Living lust-free is definitely in His will. Living lust-free is the way Jesus is currently living and wants us all to live.
The key to this is to pray desperately. Pray as if you need to be healed from a disease. This isn't a place to passively come to God for restoration. Be aggressive. Pursue God for His promise of a lust-free heart and mind to become your possession. Ask and beg Him to make the changes in your heart and mind so you can truly live free from lust. Finally, ask for faith to believe that today you can have minutes, hours and even the entire day to be lust-free.
I find praying the first thing in the morning sets the tone for the day. Regardless of when you pray, pray daily to God. He loves you and wants you to be free even more than you do.
When you pray for someone, you automatically make them a person. They stop being the object you have spent time lusting after. I had the opportunity to be interviewed for a radio show not too long ago. The show was about a man who worked at a local college, and how he struggled with lusting after college girls.
Women are beautiful. They are a divine creation of the Lord. If you find yourself starting to lust or objectify them, pray for them: "Lord, bless her husband or future husband, her dad, siblings, her children or future children. If she doesn't know you, send her women who can tell her about you."
Praying for these women gives you God's eyes toward them. God's thoughts are a definite antidote for lust.
Weapon #2 - Scripture
When you believe a Scripture, lust has no strength against it. Scripture does what kryptonite does to Superman. It weakens the grip of lust on your mind and can make it quickly flee from your heart. Remember, lust is your flesh. The Word of God can kill your flesh and heal you at the same time—like nothing else on this planet!
For Scripture to achieve its designed purpose, you must believe. Use a concordance to find and study Bible verses with these words: "lust," "covetousness," "adultery" and "flesh." Stockpile Scriptures containing those words in your arsenal. You might also find it helpful to add to your arsenal Scriptures on love, holiness, sanctification or other positive words to give you a boost in fighting this war.
Once you find a Scripture that works for you, there are several principles you can use to apply it to your life. First, read it daily. Second, put it in your phone or use it as a screensaver. Third, memorize it. Finally, pray it to God.
Whatever principle you choose to use with the Scripture, be consistent. Let its truth become true to your heart. When you and Scripture believe the same way, you begin to manifest the mind of Christ. Scripture can be a very powerful and ever-expanding tool to help you remain in your lifestyle of remaining lust-free.
Weapon #3 - Rubber-Band Technique
The battle of lust is in the moment. The minute you choose to objectify a daughter of God, you become tempted to use reflexive reactions of minimization or denial in order to protect lust.
It is critical to create a new reflex for the times you find yourself "in the moment." I advocate a technique in the book, The Final Freedom aptly called, "the rubber band." Simply put a rubber band around your wrist and when you start to lust, snap it hard.
Currently, you are giving your brain positive reinforcement when you lust. When you positively reinforce your brain, it will heighten your desire to repeat that behavior.
The rubber band technique creates a negative reinforcement for lust and sends your brain the message: I don't want to do this anymore. Many guys have reported back to me on the effectiveness of this technique. Those struggling say they notice about an 80-percent decrease in lust and objectifying. When you choose to give your brain the negative signal that lust hurts, you start sending lust the message that it is unwelcome in your life.
Living lust-free is a choice you can make. If you don't think it's a choice, you can't walk in freedom. You are capable of a more lust-free life in the future!
Doug Weiss, Ph.D., is a nationally known author, speaker and licensed psychologist. He is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the author of several books including Lust Free Living. You may contact
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