Lust has so many different angles it uses to lie to you. One of the oldest lies told to men is, "Different is better." It's the same as the old adage, "The grass is always greener on the other side."
When I lived in Texas, I would drive by a cow pasture fairly regularly. I noticed there were two types of cows in the pasture. There were the cows that were content with the food within the confines of the pasture fence and the cows that believed that the grass outside the fence was better, therefore cutting themselves on the barbed wire.
Lust tells you that different is better. It tells you that you will feel better, stronger, richer, more desirable, more loved, more understood—the lies go on. It tells you that different sexually—a different body, different personality, different connection, different spirituality—is always better than what you have.
Given normal circumstances, men that I have known that have gone all the way and tried "different" reported back that it wasn't better. Lust hides the flaws of what is different. Lust tells you her hair and makeup are done differently and more beautifully. But it doesn't tell you it takes her hours to get out of the house. All women and situations have their flaws. Lust lies to you. It tells you if you only have different—whether an image, porn, place or another person—then you have better.
Lust is an enemy and is on the other team. Lust is 100 percent willing to destroy you, get you to waste your life, cause you to not reach your destiny or create the consequences of sin in your life. In other words, lust is committed to your complete destruction, and the potential to lust lives within every man.
Lust is like the linebacker. Once the ball is snapped, he is committed to move you. The snap has already been released, and all of hell is committed to get you to lust and stay lusting so you are destroyed. They can't get you to lust. That's your choice. Once you make that choice, if you continue, hell knows the outcome.
The more you lust, the worse off you are. You become desensitized to women as people. You'll stay immature in many ways. You won't pursue your dreams or destiny—or will do so at a much slower pace. Finally, lust doesn't tell you about the guilt, shame and embarrassment you will feel when you ultimately get caught.
Until you can fully admit your lust, it will be very unlikely that you will live your life lust-free. When Jesus healed people, they often came and proclaimed their condition. You must own your lust before you can start the amazing journey of living lust-free.
When you choose a lust-free lifestyle, you start to become weaker at lust. You start to see a woman who is screaming to be lusted after and feel sad for her. You begin creating strong, lust-free spiritual muscles, thought, and beliefs. Here's the good news: Since you're in charge, you get to choose how you get stronger and better. Write down a percentage of your willingness to commit to a lust-free life. Willingness matters. If you are not fully committed to living lust-free, you will continue to struggle with little compromises and little secrets.
Just look behind you. The lust you have agreed with, considered and participated in is still there. Behind the choice to lust, you had two options: lust or not. Think like God or think like an earthly man. You have probably had moments of both, and you realize that willingness played an important role in the choice you made.
Doug Weiss, Ph.D., is a nationally known author, speaker and licensed psychologist. He is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the author of several books including Lust Free Living. You may contact Dr. Weiss via his website, drdougweiss.com, by phone at 719-278-3708 or through email at [email protected].
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