When was the last time you and your wife did something fun together or went somewhere special?
No, I'm not talking about some place you and the wife took the kids. I'm not talking about the last time you took her to Applebee's or that particular steakhouse you like; I'm talking about something you plan ahead for, something where you skip town and treat her to something special.
Can you remember the last time?
Was it months or even years ago?
And no, unless it just happened, the honeymoon doesn't count, guys.
My wife and I just passed our 10-year wedding anniversary. We started talking about what we'd like to do to celebrate and where we'd like to go. As I reviewed places we could drive to, I realized my wife and I had never flown anywhere together. So, without her knowing, I started looking for romantic getaways in different cities. Within a few hours, I had our room booked and dates established. All I needed her to take care of was the flight, which I knew she was better at than I am. That night, I sat her down and surprised her with the information on the location and the getaway. To be honest, I didn't get the big reaction I had hoped for because she was so surprised. After a few weeks, though, she made it quite known that she was excited for the trip.
Yes, a trip for just the two of us: No kids. No family or friends.
Guys, I can honestly admit to you that the few days we had together were amazing. It was worth the extra effort and extra money.
Do I have you interested yet?
Are you starting to come up with excuses as to why you can't do something like that?
Here are 5 things you need to do in order to get away with your wife:
1. Remove the excuses. That's right. This is point #1 because this is where it all starts. You can't get off work. You can't find someone to watch the kids. You can't blah, blah, blah ... There's always a way to make it happen; you just need to think outside of your comfortable box and start getting creative. Sure, it might feel strange, but that's the point. If planning something special with your wife feels strange, then that's all the more proof that you need to get away, and soon.
2. Take action and start the conversation. What do you think your wife would like? Where have you two always wanted to go? Maybe you can't go too crazy, but there are still some options for having fun. Step up now and start talking to your wife about this idea. Show some interest and plant the idea. Let her sit on it and then follow up. Throw out some ideas and get her feedback. It might feel strange to her, too, but keep pushing.
3. Spend the extra money. If money is the main thing holding you back, sit down and review your budget with your wife. Yes, your budget. Maybe you could set aside some money over the next couple of months and then go somewhere. Do a few side jobs. Cut back on the cable or dinners out. Make a way to make a way. Your marriage will benefit greatly from a mini-trip, so don't think the extra work and money won't be worth it.
4. Coordinate the details. Find some places that look fun and share them with your wife. Get her feedback. Look on sites like Groupon or Living Social. There's no shame in getting a good deal on a great place. Choose a spot, pick a date and start setting it up. Need plane tickets? Need a rental car? Don't hesitate on this phase. Be pro-active and make it happen.
5. Get away and have an amazing time. Good planning produces positive results. The house, the kids, the jobs, the whatever will all be fine. Hit the plane or hit the road and relax. Have some fun together again. Take time to talk about your relationship. Talk about what you like or don't like. Allow yourselves to talk about dreams and goals. Discuss the next five years or even 10 years. Reflect on great moments in your past. Have a great and relaxing time!
Time to take action. Your marriage needs this.
After our experience this year, my wife and I will absolutely be planning a mini-trip each year.
Share your thoughts below. Share if you take vacations and your thoughts on them. Or share if this seems out of reach and crazy.
Manturity is a blog built on establishing spiritual maturity in today's man. The goal is to assist men in building better marriages, help men in grow in maturity and explore different aspects of manhood. Manturity.com features new weekly blog posts, daily social media updates and a powerful resources page. Stay up to date with the Manturity blog communities on Facebook and Twitter.
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