There is a direct connection between your sexual behavior and your destiny in Christ. God has designed us to do amazing things for His kingdom, and our level of sexual purity will determine how useful we are. Sex and destiny are linked. This is why the devil works so hard to ensnare men in sexual sin. His goal is to neutralize godly men through immoral sexual behavior, thereby making them ineffective for the kingdom. And after 20 years of counseling men on this issue, I can tell you this is evidence the devil is scared of you.
We have all seen great men of God excelling in the Lord, moving toward global impact, only to succumb to sexual sin. Suddenly, all they can do is watch as their ministry, family and reputation crumble in shame. Had those men prepared themselves to fight against sexual sin by being transparent with others, seeking counsel and remaining accountable—we would still benefit from their ministry today.
As I like to say about the devil, "If he can seduce you, he can reduce you."
There are examples of this all throughout the Bible: the destiny of men and women tied to their sexuality. Their response to temptation had a direct impact on their fate. Just look at Joseph's response, for example, in Genesis 39:7-10:
After a time, his master's wife took notice of Joseph and said, "Lie with me." But he refused and said to his master's wife, "My master does not concern himself with anything concerning me in the house, and he has committed all that he has to my charge. There is none greater in this house than I. He has kept nothing back from me but you, because you are his wife. How then can I do this great wickedness and sin against God?" She spoke to Joseph every day, but he did not listen to her about lying with her or being with her.
Joseph said no and stood his ground. Clearly, his response cost him his job and almost his life. He was thrown in jail, but he had refused to compromise his integrity for a moment of pleasure. You probably know the rest of Joseph's story. He interpreted dreams for Pharaoh, then in a single day went from being a prisoner with sexual integrity to a position as second-highest leader, not just in the nation, but in the world.
Had Joseph failed this test, he could have easily been disqualified or killed when Potiphar found out about it. And that one sin would have killed millions by famine because Joseph would not have been where God needed him to be. Sexual purity is what maintained Joseph's destiny. The same is true of many other great men in the Bible like Moses, Daniel and Elijah. But Samson's life took a very different turn.
God loved Samson and placed a calling on his life, as Judges 13:24-25 points out: "So the woman bore a son, and she called him Samson. The boy grew, and the Lord blessed him. The Spirit of the Lord began to move upon him at Mahaneh Dan, between Zorah and Eshtaol."
But Samson had one problem, and her name was Delilah. "After this Samson loved a woman in the Valley of Sorek, whose name was Delilah. (Judg. 16:4).
You probably know Samson's story, too. He told Delilah the secret of his strength. The Philistines captured and blinded him. His destiny was limited because of his sexuality. God gave him a final victory; however, his life could have been even greater then had he showed us how a man could use his God-given strength to lead and protect.
We can only wonder what Samson's life might have looked like had he lived for his true destiny.
So, what about you? What's it going to be? Will you fight and take a stand? Or will you give in and forfeit the Lord's calling on your life?
The devil tried to stop me through a series of emotional setbacks. My father and mother abandoned me at an early age, and I fell into the traps of sexual abuse, drug addiction, pornography and promiscuous sex. Looking back, I can see the devil was rightfully concerned that I would figure out God's purpose for my life and pursue my calling in the Lord. Thankfully, I did. By God's grace, I was able to recognize the wonderful life He had planned for me, which caused me to give up all my addictions and give everything back to Him. As a result, I have seen God gradually increase my influence through major media outlets and a robust international speaking platform, and I now see men saved and set free from sexual sin everywhere I go.
I love it when I get to speak to teenagers. I see a world of destiny in their young eyes, and yet their generation is under perhaps the largest media assault the world has ever known. They face enormous peer pressure and temptation when it comes to sex. So when I get the chance to talk to them, I often say, "When you feel tempted by someone, tell that person they are simply too small for you." The truth is their destiny is much bigger than a moment of pleasure.
Your freedom isn't just about you. Your destiny is tied to that of others all around the world. People are desperate for answers, and once they find out how shallow and unsatisfying a life of sin is, they will want the real thing—Jesus. I believe it is God's desire to expand your influence for His kingdom. If you will remain faithful, He can make it happen.
You are God's solution for someone or something on earth. He lives in you and has given you special gifts, unique to your personality. You are a great warrior, and warriors are the ones the enemy attempts to scar early in life. Beyond your guilt, shame or desperation is a heroic, epic story only you and God can write.
God has called you to His service. There is no need to compromise your destiny by viewing pornography or living a promiscuous lifestyle. Those actions are too small for you. You are not called to peck the ground like a domesticated chicken waiting for the slaughter. No, you are like an eagle destined to fly to incredible heights.
Humble yourself, so others can be free.
Doug Weiss, Ph.D. is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado. He is the author of Clean: A Proven Plan for Men Committed to Sexual Integrity, Lust Free Living and Sex, Men and God. He is a nationally known author, speaker and licensed psychologist. He has appeared on many national talk shows including Oprah, Dr. Phil, Good Morning America and 20/20 and is the president of the American Association of Sex Addiction Therapy (AASAT). For more information, call 719-278-3708 or visit www.drdougweiss.com.
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