Always remember what attracted you to her in the first place.
Always remember what attracted you to her in the first place. (Flickr )

Each day when I log onto Facebook, one of the first things I see is a Facebook Memory. Each memory is something I or someone else posted to Facebook in the past.

I then have the option to repost and share this memory. It's cool when I see a picture of our kids four or five years ago and relive the memory.

My first response to seeing the memory is usually, "I forgot all about that," whether it's a moment or a certain way our kids or even my wife used to look. Sometimes we forget pivotal things in our marriage, and it's not a good thing.

These are three things you should never forget once you are married:

1. What attracted you to her. I remember one of the first dates my wife and I had when I first got my own apartment. She and her girlfriends came by before me and my buddies all went out. She was a little nervous and sat in the chair closest to the door (I guess just in case she had to suddenly bolt). I remember it because even today when she's a little nervous she sits up very straight and has perfect posture. To this day when I see her sitting like that, it's cute to me (yes, I used the word cute), and I remind her, "That's the way you sat the first time you came to my apartment." Seeing her sitting like that attracted me then, and when I see her sitting like that today, it takes me right back to that moment—her look, her smile, her uncertainty, but also interest and trust in me.

2. What attracted her to you. Every once in a while, my wife will remind me how meticulous and organized I was when we were dating before marriage. She'll bring up the fact that I always had Kleenex in my bathroom, and that my car smelled so great, and every single thing in my car had a place and was always in its place.

She loved that about me. Remembering this helps me do some of those things that my wife finds attractive even 15 years later. Over the years, it's easy to relax and take things for granted.

Maybe you used to go above and beyond to attract her, but you don't anymore. Maybe you just have become too comfortable and don't even do the basic things. I challenge you to look at yourself and no matter where you are, step it up—do the things today that attracted her to you yesterday with the same excitement and passion.

3. Your commitment to her. The commitment to love her "for better or for worse ... in sickness and in health ... till death do us part." Remember those words? You made that commitment when you said, "I do." But if you are honest, you don't always treat her with love during the worse. Maybe you've even considered ending your relationship before "death do you part."

Your wife may have changed, some of which may not be for the better. It doesn't matter. You should never forget the commitment you made on your wedding day. That commitment wasn't a contract or an "if this ... then that" type of commitment. The commitment is unconditional.

Remembering these things will rekindle the fire, passion, and newness in your relationship you experienced early on. Those things made you take the steps to "I do" and will keep both of you and her saying "I do" over and over again.

Jackie Bledsoe is an author, blogger, and speaker, but first and foremost a husband and father of three, who helps men better lead and love the ones who matter most.

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