How to Make Big Deposits Into Your Spouse's Emotional Bank Account

Sharing in your spouse's accomplishments can bring a couple much closer together.
Sharing in your spouse's accomplishments can bring a couple much closer together. (iStock photo )

In the book The Science of Happily Ever After, the author reveals that numerous studies show about 70 percent of our daily interactions with our spouses are positive.

On top of that, we each have a natural desire to share in the accomplishments, happiness, and moments of good fortune of our spouses.

When we're jazzed about what jazzes them, it's like a deposit into their emotional bank account. And when we blow those opportunities, it's like a withdrawal.

It might be a small thing like sharing a teacher's comment about your child, getting all the daily chores done, or a flock of birds sighted in your back yard. Or it could be something big, like getting a promotion or bonus.

Here's the thing. Whether big or small, when your spouse shares a bit of their good news with you, it's like them making a "bid" for your attention and affection.

When you accept their bid for your approval and respond with enthusiasm and interest, it builds intimacy in marriage in a way few other things can do.

So next time your spouse shares some good news, drop everything and give an enthusiastic response.

Until every church disciples every man...

Patrick Morley is the founder of Man in the Mirror ministry for men.

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