God Didn't Call You to be a Doormat!

by J. Lee Grady
Christians often suggest that God created women to be frail and quiet. But biblical submission is not about weakness or silence.
 
At a Glance
 
  • God wants women to be strong.
  • God wants women to be vocal.
  • God wants husbands and wives to function as equal partners.
According to self-proclaimed relationship expert Laura Doyle, "something magical" happened when she decided to "surrender control" in her marriage. She stopped doing the family finances. She started cooing "Whatever you think" when her husband wanted her opinion.

She decided that the way to secure happiness in marriage was to become "a surrendered wife." Then she started organizing clubs all over the country to teach other women how to, as she says, "relinquish control."

And did I mention that her book, The Surrendered Wife, is climbing best-seller charts? Doyle's philosophy, a knee-jerk reaction to secular feminism, is controversial and disturbing:

 
**Doyle tells women not to worry if their husbands are looking at pornography. ("It's none of your business," she says.)

**She advises wives not to offer opinions of any sort, since this is just nagging. ("By telling him what you think," Doyle writes, "you risk contradicting him.")

**If your husband risks breaking his neck by standing on a shaky ladder, you shouldn't criticize him, Doyle says. She advises wives to just ignore their husbands' mistakes.

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**The more a wife relinquishes control to her husband, "the more powerful and masculine he will feel," Doyle says.

When I first heard Doyle dishing out her views on a TV talk show, I wanted to demand equal time. I've been married for 17 years, and I'm not so insecure that I need my wife to lie on the floor and act like a doormat so I can feel "powerful and masculine."

Guys who need their wives to act subservient are dealing with emotional problems that can lead to domestic cruelty. They need professional help, and they aren't going to get it from Doyle--who, by the way, does not claim to be a Christian. She says her "higher power" is an inner voice that allows her to choose her own path.

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