Single, But Not Alone

Brenda worked for our ministry at Elijah House for several years. She was a beautiful, intelligent, insightful young woman in her 30s who profoundly blessed many with her gifts of counseling and prayer. Almost everyone was puzzled by the fact that she remained single.

She had a lovely face and figure, and her shiny auburn hair would have qualified her to pose for shampoo commercials. She dressed tastefully and attractively. Her bright personality was charming. She was conversant on a variety of subjects. Several counselees commented that they could not understand why men were not lined up at her door.

I’m not describing a superwoman who possessed an unflawed personality with whom no one could identify. Like the rest of us, she had wounds in her heart that needed to be healed and habits that had to be transformed. At that time there was a privateness about her that did not allow many to know her intimately. But neither was there a sign on her forehead telling people to remain at a distance.

Because Brenda was an excellent teacher and as a single could identify with the feelings of singles, we asked her to address the singles issues at a seminar. I will never forget the response she received when she stated emphatically, “There is life after puberty!” The audience erupted in waves of laughter. And the people settled in to hear Brenda’s message, which said again and again in many ways that our basic security, wholeness, value and effectiveness as persons—whether we are married or single—depend upon our developing relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.

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He is the one who gives us power to confront and overcome the hurtful and often crippling circumstances of life; He is able to transform our weaknesses into strengths. Though you may be single, having many attendant struggles and frustrations, you are not rejected, and you are never alone.

Brenda eventually married, became a mother and continued her ministry. She is not a whole person because she found a marriage partner. She became a good marriage partner because she was whole in Christ before she married.

Perhaps you can relate to Brenda’s story with the exception of her “happily ever after.” You are still waiting for the right one to come along.

“If there is someone out there for me, then why haven’t I found him?” How often have I heard that! But whether you have never married or you are single again through divorce or death, the pain is very real, and God can restore your soul if you allow Him.

You may ask, “What if there is something in me that is preventing me from meeting the right person?”

It could very well be that there are blockages in you. Some of the most common are the emotional wounds you have received, lies you have accepted, judgments you have made, expectations you have developed, walls you have built, inner vows you have made and unconscious messages you send.

The good news is that you don’t have to continue to live with any of them. You can be set free. What can you do to get rid of those roadblocks as they apply to you?

First and foremost, pray. James 5:16 says, “Confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed” (NASB).  It is essentially that simple. Then begin walking in your prayers! Prayer is the key to removing roadblocks on your way to wholeness. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

Another way to help you overcome these obstacles is to foster healthy, vital relationships through well-balanced support groups. Some of the richest experiences in a Christian group happen in groups that are diversified—young and old, male and female, married and single. God did not design us to be alone. He created us with the need for fellowship and intimacy. These small-group structures can provide friendship and nurture for singles.

Continue to develop your relationship with God so that you can become completely whole and secure in Him.  Being single can be a blessing.  And singles can be a blessing.  Ask Him what special plan He has for you during this season in your life.

Adapted from Healing for a Woman’s Emotions by Paula Sandford, copyright 2007, published by Charisma House. This book will help you learn redemptive ways of handling your inner feelings, self-condemnation for failures, and unfulfilled expectations, and find understanding, love, acceptance and fulfillment. To order a copy click on this link:




This week ask God to search your heart and show you any blockages that may be sending unconscious messages and keeping you from experiencing life to the fullest. Seek His face and allow Him to bring healing to the wounds of the past and freedom to embrace your future. Continue to pray for the peace of Jerusalem, the upcoming elections, protection for our nation, and wisdom for our leaders. Ask God to use you to bless those who are suffering great losses from recent tornadoes, blizzards, illness, crime and war.  James 5:16; Ps. 23

To enrich your prayer life and learn how to strategically pray with power by using appropriate scriptures, we recommend the following sources by Apostle John Eckhardt: Prayers that Rout Demons, Prayers that Bring Healing, Prayers that Release Heaven on Earth and Prayers that Break Curses. To order any or all of these click here.

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