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By Love Transformed, by R.T. Kendall

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5 Ways to Be Authentic in Your Relationships

I remember sitting on the couch and watching the movie, Mean Girls. I wondered if things could get that bad in the girlie-hood.

How wrong I was, things could get pretty worse these days.

Recently, I watched my friend's daughter become a hermit and totally withdrawn because her shy sweet best friend had turned on her.

The need to belong to an in-group, the need to desperately fit in drew friends apart.

It is conformity that hurts our authenticity.

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God" (Romans 12:2).

Are you being a genuine Christian?

Are you genuine as a mom?

Are you genuine in your relationships?

Every successful relationship is knitted in authenticity.

Come to think of it, we are more likely to share our hearts with friends who are real enough.

Unfortunately, people who are close to us know when we radiate lies about ourselves.

Yes!!

It is a lie to put up an appearance.

It is pride to put up an appearance.

Not being authentic is denying who you really are.

Most depression and loneliness is closely tied with the impossible desire of being perfect or to fit in to the 'right crowd'.

Gal, we should not turn on each other just because we are trying to fit in the "popular group."

What really is the issue?

'The need to fit-in'

We lose ourselves when we desperately want to belong.

We stop being real when we put up a facade.

When our lives start revolving around appearances, we drift away from reality.

It is this self-serving desire that allows us to crush people in our lives who love us.

This senseless craving makes us lose real connections and break hearts along our paths.

How can you be more authentic?

1. Understand your purpose; the woman who understands God's place in her life doesn't bother which group of women let her in. A woman who understands her purpose pursues fulfillment of her calling.

God has not called us....

  • To be like everyone else; the world needs your light, it doesn't need more darkness.
  • To fit in: We should give up trying to fit in because God has called you to be different.
  • To be unreal: We make our lives a lie when we abandon who God has made us to be.

God has called us for His unique purpose in our lives

Our uniqueness is buried in our authenticity.

You echo your purpose when you remain true to your calling. To be true is to be authentic, sincere and transparent.

2. Show compassion. An authentic person is compassionate and empathetic. She listens with genuine intent and seeks ways to relieve your burden.

Jesus showed compassion. He was genuine. He didn't need to wear a long robe and sit in the courts.

An authentic person will draw more genuine people.

3. Relate don't be distant. An authentic person can relate with your experiences. While she does not shield her own short comings, she places herself in your shoes in order to understand what you are going through.

An authentic person is not distant in her conversations

4. Avoid lies. Many times you try to fit in you spun lies. Regrettably you will need more lies to keep you on the shore line. You will become more sucked in.

Get away from the lies and everything to do with it because it will cost you more than you expect.   

5. Be honest about your feelings. Truthfully, I am learning to be more open about my feelings especially when my opinion really matters.

People in our lives deserve more than our "plastic answers." They deserve our best authentic selves.

Let's be more true and less plastic.

Let's be more authentic and shine in truth.

Reprinted from A Little R and R. Ifeoma Samuel is happily married to her sweet heart Obiora Samuel. She is an author, a blogger and an occasional speaker at various women conferences in South Africa. She uses her writings to share everyday life stories about God's immense love. She is the author of  My 30 Days Journey To a Fulfilled Life. Visit her blog Purposeful And Meaningful and you can follow her on  PinterestGoogle+ |Facebook|

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