By Love Transformed, by R.T. Kendall

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Coming to Terms With Our Grudges

"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. —Ephesians 4:26

There's no doubt that Esau was angry with God, but that is not the end of the story, as we know from the remarkable events in Genesis 33.

The time came when Jacob had to meet Esau. But Esau, instead of taking revenge against Jacob, showed mercy.

Who would have thought that the very thing Jacob had dreaded was now reversed? What does this tell you? Something happened to Esau. What changed him? It may have been time. As they say, time heals all wounds. And it could be that with time a person mellows, but if that's the way it happens, it is not a real victory. If you deal with your anger the same day, then that's spiritual victory.

Something did happen to Esau, and we too must learn how to come to terms with our grudge. When we learn to stand back and ask ourselves why we are as we are, we become objective.

It is so easy for us to be judgmental, but we don't know what process the mind of another is going through or what has happened to them. The truth is that we all do things that are not right.

God totally forgives because He sent His Son to die for your sins. And the reason Jacob could say, "To see your face is like seeing the face of God" (Gen. 33:10), was because the God whom you can turn to is a God whose justice has been satisfied by the blood of His Son. God can even take that unforgiving spirit, forgive you for your inability to forgive, give you a new heart, and bring you to the place where you can sincerely pray for those who have treated you unfairly. You can come to the place that you want them to be blessed, and eventually it even becomes a selfish prayer because when you pray that way, you get blessed more than anybody. And that's the truth.

Excerpted from All's Well That Ends Well (Authentic Media, 2005).

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