Raising Kids Alone
When I was in the sixth grade, I talked a lot. I mean a whole lot. I would often lock myself in the bathroom, grab a pencil to use as a makeshift microphone and render award-winning speeches to a make-believe audience. My mother, who sometimes needed a break from my constant jabbering, insisted that I stop talking so much.
“Valerie!” she’d shout. “Be quiet—and I mean now!” But later she would come back and unknowingly prophesy: “You have the gift of gab, and one day you are going to use it.”
As I look back, I’m sure my mom wasn’t trying to predict my future. But she was, and still is, a praying woman who sought the Lord earnestly concerning His plans for my life. In time, He revealed to her that my natural ability to communicate was His design. So she did whatever she could to open up doors of opportunity for me.
| “Parents are responsible for investing in their children the love, guidance, and structure that can one day produce a life fully committed to the Lord.” |
When I was 13, my parents landed a spot for me and my twin sister, Vanessa, on a Christian TV show for kids called Acorn Alley. I don’t know how they managed to get us on the show for a month, but I do know my mother was taking her cues from Scripture. Proverbs 22:6 gives specific instructions on developing the God-given potential embedded in every child. The Amplified Bible offers an insightful translation: “Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it.”
In essence, parents are responsible for investing in their children the love, guidance, and structure that can one day produce a life fully committed to the Lord. As we lead them “in the way they should go”—according to their unique personalities and natural giftings—they can live fulfilling lives.
One of the greatest challenges I have ever faced was single-parenting. The financial demands of managing a one-parent home, coupled with my efforts to raise a godly daughter while balancing a career and ministry, were overwhelming at times. Having grown up in a two-parent home—my parents have been married for 49 years—I thought the odds were totally against me, until I searched the Scriptures.
Timothy, the apostle Paul’s protégé, was trained spiritually by his mother, Eunice. Her influence on Timothy created a commitment that would seal his faith in Christ. Eunice’s devotion to that challenge carved a place for her in biblical history: “I have been reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also” (2 Tim. 1:5, NIV).
Like Eunice, parents can help their children fulfill their purpose in life by intentionally nurturing them. Here are some ideas:
• Pray with and for your child daily.
• Demonstrate unconditional love, regardless of your child’s failures or successes.
• Shun performance-based acceptance, and avoid forcing your unfulfilled dreams on your child.
• Spend quality time imparting character-building traits that will stand against the toughest temptation.
• Talk with your kids about their day at school, their homework and their future goals or aspirations.
Parents who are vigilant in their pursuit to raise kids who love God and who will use their gifts to serve Him are not easily shaken by the enemy’s attempts to shatter their dreams for their children. Why? Because they are trusting God for the outcome.
In a world of instant messaging, IPods and YouTube, it is extremely difficult to keep your kids focused on God but as a single mother of a college student, it is worth the fight. Your kids have a God-ordained purpose they must fulfill.
As I reminisce about my TV debut years ago, I must admit it left a little something to be desired. But it did not stop my parents from thrusting me into a huge arena of opportunity. As a result, I am using my natural gifts and abilities to help fulfill the mission statement of Charisma: “To proclaim Jesus Christ to the world.”
So the next time your child locks the bathroom door to rehearse a prize-winning speech, don’t hush them—help them. Only God knows what’s in the making.
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