The death of my father refocused my health priorities.
Be tough!" "Hang in there!" That's what us guys have been told all our lives. That's what real men are made of, right?
Well, I have to admit, the things that make a hero in my mind ironically don't come from toughness. As we strive to be our best in developing a healthy body and getting our pectorals the size of Arnold Schwarzenegger's, it is vitally important that we look beyond what may be the least fulfilling single-dimensional viewpoint--being self-centered.
For Christians, the worst consequence of vulgarity's ubiquity may be the influence upon children.
"All children, whether they swear or not, learn what the words are that they're not supposed to use," says author Timothy Jay, who also is a psychology professor at Massachusetts College of Liberal Arts.
Sometimes teens must learn that words matter by going too far, such as being kicked out of a restaurant or fired from a job for using vulgarity, Jay says. Yet enforcing rules is more difficult when many of the rich and powerful--movie stars, athletes and politicians--use vulgar words with impunity.
Men who are growing spiritually, emotionally and relationally know the importance of having other men in their lives who can hold them accountable. They also recognize the value of helping other men. Proverbs 27:17 says it well: “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another” (NIV). We need one another in order to be sharp. We also need to realize that every man is sharpened differently.
Accountability is not about asking a list of questions. It’s about being involved in another man’s life. It’s coming alongside other men. Godly men know they need to be accountable, but they don’t always know what that looks like. I’ve been in good accountability relationships and bad ones. I've noticed that the accountability partner has four key responsibilities.
This dad discovered the importance of transparency when he tool his 14-year-old son on a father-son adventure in Jackson Hole, Wyo.
Wyoming is far from our home in Florida, but my 14-year-old son and I grew closer together when we took part in a Christ in the Tetons father-son retreat last year in the breathtaking Teton Mountains in Jackson Hole.
Joshua was happy to commit after hearing the itinerary: Five exhilarating days filled with climbing, fishing, rafting, horseback riding, hiking, biking and a day at Yellowstone National Park.
I wanted this to be an exciting time of refreshing and renewal for both of us because we've had our share of challenges to work through these last few years.
Question: I've never used Viagra and don't need to, but I realize that I have an underlying resistance to any drug used for sexual performance. What is your opinion of these kinds of drugs?
Answer: I think your apprehension to drugs is a very common feeling among Christians. If you don't need them, praise God and don't take any! For me, they are like any other medication you would take from a doctor.
I have talked with Christians from all over the country who think medication whether for depression, anxiety or headaches are all of the devil and a "real" Christian wouldn't take them. For me, the answer is simple and it points to the characters of God and the devil.
Openly discussing masturbation and sexual fantasy with your teens will help them avoid the explosive damage sexual misbehavior can bring.
Today's teenagers face far greater risks and challenges in getting acquainted with the opposite sex than we did when we were teenagers.
Why? First, puberty is awakening a teenager's sexual desires from one to two years earlier than in previous generations. Teenagers' pituitary glands are cascading more sex hormones into their bloodstream than they will ever experience again in their lifetimes. As a result, they must deal with the emotional and physical changes accompanying secondary sexual characteristics while they are still children.
You may struggle with feelings of inadequacy regarding your fathering abilities, but you have a God-given role to protect and provide for your family. And you have great impact on developing character in your sons.
Fathering is at the heart of masculinity, of what it means to be a man. Godly fathers put others' needs before their own. If you're like me, you spend the majority of your conscious thought and effort on satisfying your own wants and needs. It's almost an unconscious response to life. But if we are to be authentic men and fathers, we need to rethink that attitude and consciously make sacrifices so others can benefit and prosper.
When fathers neglect this duty or are absent from the home, predators attack families. Young men, such as gang members, who are raised without the influence of older men often become marauding wolves themselves–predators preying on women and children for their own self-gratification.
You married an amazing person but has your Woman of the Year become a wall flower, frozen by fear? If her fire has cooled and her pizzazz has fizzled, then take her in your arms and lead her to dance again.
Maybe you wonder where she went—that woman you fell in love with so deeply that you asked her to marry you. Remember her? The one with lots of energy. The adventure girl who inspired you with her enthusiasm. The woman who lit up the room just by showing up. The passionate, alive, beautiful person who stole your heart and made you want to be a better man.
Maybe it's been years since you've felt like you've seen that woman. Maybe today you live with a version of her that reminds you there is more to that person than you're experiencing now.
In 1986, Patrick Morley discipled a handful of men who met together in an Orlando-area bar to study the Bible. Today, he challenges men in 80 countries to be Christ's disciples. New Man recognizes an icon of the modern men's movement.
The letter came from a New Jersey man who attended a conference sponsored by a Methodist men's group. The featured speaker: Patrick Morley.
"I truly believe [Pat's] presentation saved my marriage," the man wrote. "My wife and I had agreed to get a divorce the night before the gathering. I felt as though Pat were talking directly to me. Everything he said fit what I was going through and made perfect sense."
Making sense to men is what Morley, the founder of the Orlando, Fla.-based Man in the Mirror (MIM) ministry, has been doing now for 20 years.
He has the unenviable task of following in the tracks of a NASCAR legend-chasing records that may never be broken. But make no mistake, Kyle Petty is his own man … fueled by a desire to leave his mark on the racing world and to carry on the work of the son he lost five years ago.
For a moment, the ground is still. The toxic smell of burnt rubber and 110-octane leaded gasoline has yet to be released into the air. On this warm August day in Michigan, 43 drivers climb into race cars riddled with corporate logos, eagerly anticipating the famous call to start their engines.
The skies are clear, so comparing the pre-race atmosphere to the cliché “calm before the storm” doesn't exactly work out. In fact, once the speedway goes “hot,” it will feel a lot more like an earthquake than any meteorological phenomenon.
As crews make final preparations in pit road and the sold-out crowd of over 137,000 waits in anticipation, Tim Griffin takes a deliberate walk down the starting grid. As one of chaplains for Motor Racing Outreach (MRO), he has the unique privilege of praying with each driver individually.
Best-selling author Emerson Eggerichs has cracked the marriage communication code. He says the answer has been hidden in plain sight for 2,000 years.
Imagine Robin Williams in a manic appearance on Late Show with David Letterman. Now imagine his crazy energy focused on a singular topic, instead of the sampler platter of conversation that Williams usually totes with him. Now imagine that energy tempered by the cool intellectualism-but none of the fustiness-of David Hyde-Pierce (a.k.a. Niles Crane from Frasier). Now imagine that he speaks with the spiritual directness of the Apostle Paul.
Got it? Now, one more thing: Add some fashionable glasses.
This is a pretty good picture of Dr. Emerson Eggerichs as he stalks the sanctuary stage of a Southern Baptist church in Oklahoma City, energetically delivering a lecture he's given many times before … and getting a reaction he's also gotten many times before.
A look inside the mind of Islamic terrorists reveals why they are willing to give up their lives-and why they can't be stopped by weapons made by man.
Indoctrinated since childhood and trained in secret camps across the Middle East, they are dominated by an aggressive religion and fueled by a belief that they are doing God's will. Ultimately, they can't be stopped with weapons made by man.
“Why we are fighting and opposing you? The answer is very simple: Because you attacked us and continue to attack us. … The British handed over Palestine, with your help and your support, to the Jews, who have occupied it for over 50 years; years overflowing with oppression, tyranny, crimes, killing, expulsion, destruction and devastation. The creation and continuation of Israel is one of the greatest crimes, and you are the leaders of its criminals. … It brings us both laughter and tears to see that you have not yet tired of repeating your fabricated lies that Jews have a historical right to Palestine, as it was promised to them in the Torah. … The blood pouring out of Palestine must be equally revenged.” From Osama bin Laden's 2002 “Letter to America”
Mark Gabriel knows the spirit of hatred and revenge. Back in Egypt, the teachers in his Muslim-run school taught him to hate Christians and Jews-hate them for the crime of stealing Palestine, for occupying sacred land and for opposing the one true religion of Islam.
QUESTION: Sometimes I want sex with my wife because I'm seeking pleasure, not romance. I feel guilty. Should I?
ANSWER: Well, an honest man! Not every guy is motivated by a deep longing for an emotional encounter every single time he wants sex. The good news is, not every woman is either. Sometimes she just wants to feel the rush of the orgasm you produce for her. God created us to enjoy sex, so that's just being human.
Bono and Bush, Jakes and Jennings. The Men of the Year for 2005 have dug wells of inspiration from which others who aspire to the exceptional might drink.
There is little more beautiful to behold in the world than a man in the grasp of an idea. Women, of course, are also thrilling when they passionately give themselves to belief, but since men are the more easily distracted and the more commonly willing to settle for less than they might be, it is a man possessed of an idea who most often holds the fascination of the world.
Our 2005 Men of the Year are just such men. Except for one of them, they are not particularly exceptional apart from the ideas they serve. Yet, because they have chosen to preserve the heritage of a people or to loose the grip of poverty upon nations or to lead a tradition-bound church into cultural relevance, among other causes, they are living exceptional lives. They are also digging wells of inspiration from which others who aspire to the exceptional might drink.
Like the father whose name he bears, Duane Lee Chapman is a bounty hunter. When he puts on his badge, the does it with the blessing of law enforcement...and the blessing of Jesus. Although he may lurk in the darkness outside your back door, and although he may pounce on you as you exit, hurl you to the ground and scream in your face as you pee your pants in raw fear, he tries to do it in a compassionate, Christian sort of way.
He is Duane Lee Chapman II, and like the father whose name he bears, he is a bounty hunter. When he puts on his badge, he does it with the blessing of law enforcement. He is confident that he also does it with the blessing of Jesus.
He sees his job as a ministry, albeit a ministry that involves considerably more pepper spray, yelling and threats than your average ministry (unless you include a particularly rambunctious Sunday school class of sixth-grade boys).
You've tried it your way and failed. Don't give up! Choose to stay in the game and see how God even takes our mistakes and builds them into our greatest victories.
How many times have we heard this one: “It doesn't matter if you win or lose, it's how you play the game that counts.” Some of us realized winning meant a lot when we noticed that the guys who got the girls were the ones who won the starting positions on the team. Even if how they played the game was anything but nice, they still won and got the girls.
Go out in life thinking that winning does not matter and you will be very disappointed. Winning matters a lot.
Clay Crosse's battle with pornography almost ruined his marriage and career. But he found total restoration after honest confession.
CLAY CROSSE LIVED THE GOOD LIFE. He made big money as a Christian recording artist and climbed the charts with his signature song, “I Surrender All.” He had a beautiful family, a nice house, money to spend and a reputation as a stand-up guy. Plus, he had tens of thousands of adoring fans. He also had a dark secret-he struggled with porn.
He talks candidly about this struggle in his book, co-authored with his wife, Renee, I Surrender All: Rebuilding a Marriage Broken by Pornography (Navpress).
Crosse was first exposed to pornography in the fourth grade. By the time he was in high school, he had a few magazines hidden in his room.
Do you have what it takes to be your own boss? Before you say no, consider this: Your quest for 'security' may be keeping you from seeing new and better opportunities.
We often refer to the workplace as “being in the rat race,” but this is probably unfair. It's actually demeaning to the rats. Rats won't stay in a race when it's obvious there's no cheese.
Research shows that even average rats quickly look for new territory when the cheese is gone. Humans, on the other hand, seem to often get themselves into career traps from which they never escape.