menprayingMen who are growing spiritually, emotionally and relationally know the importance of having other men in their lives who can hold them accountable. They also recognize the value of helping other men. Proverbs 27:17 says it well: “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another” (NIV). We need one another in order to be sharp. We also need to realize that every man is sharpened differently.
 
Accountability is not about asking a list of questions. It’s about being involved in another man’s life. It’s coming alongside other men. Godly men know they need to be accountable, but they don’t always know what that looks like. I’ve been in good accountability relationships and bad ones. I've noticed that the accountability partner has four key responsibilities.

Each job is a skill that must be developed and used at the right time in order to be make the relationship work.

Cheer
The man who makes himself accountable needs to know he is not alone. He needs to feel that someone is on his side. He needs someone to root for him, but not from the sidelines. An accountability partner is right on the field with him.

A cheerleader encourages and should always be genuine in his encouragement. He shouldn’t say “good job” if it’s not merited. Good accountability partners don’t lie or give fake cheers just to boost morale. The right type of cheering always says: “You can get there. Hang in there. With God’s help, you can do it!”

Challenge
A man plateaus at times and settles into a comfortable level. This is when the accountability partner needs to challenge. He needs to help his friend stay focused on the big picture, the vision and the mission. The accountability partner needs to help his friend see beyond his current circumstances. This is a good stage at which to talk about the kingdom of God, the gospel and eternal matters.

An accountability partner should also challenge his friend when it is time for the next step. A man needs courage to go into new territory. He needs to know that taking a leap of faith and plowing new ground is important to his growth as a man of God. Sometimes an accountability partner will help a man see further than where he is and challenge him to shoot higher.

Confront
Confronting a brother in Christ is the hardest job of an accountability partner. No one likes to confront, but when a man is willfully sinning, it is important that we step in and be “our brother’s keeper.”

Confrontation is needed when there is negative momentum. When sin and failures occur they need to be addressed. When a man is hardening his heart or not willing to take the next step, he needs to be confronted over his choices. When a man’s behavior is hurting others, it must be confronted. Confession and repentance are the right responses to confrontation.

Comfort
Every man experiences hurts, wounds, disappointments and failures. But it takes a man a long time to start talking about them. As your relationship grows, your friend will begin to trust you with the deeper things. He will slowly expose the hurts of his heart and his feelings about them. This will require that you learn to comfort and be a caring friend.

A good accountability partner knows that a man needs a close friend when times are tough. He shows comfort by understanding his friend and being willing to pray for him, cry with him and demonstrate commitment to him.

The Right Time
Each of the four roles has its time and place. The worst accountability relationships are ones in which the accountability partner doesn’t know what to do, or does what's needed at the wrong time. For example, when a man is hurting and needs comfort, that is not the time to confront him or challenge him; when a man is willfully sinning, that is not the time to sympathize with him or be his cheerleader.

Most of us are better at some of these roles than we are at other ones. That’s OK. Practice listening to the men you are working with. When a man starts sharing how his week is going, ask yourself, “Does this man need cheer, challenge, confrontation or comfort?”

Jeff Fisher is co-administrator of www.porntopurity.com. He has 17 years of ministry experience that includes pastoring, church planting, youth ministry and missions. He and his wife, Marsha, have seen God restore and heal their marriage after Jeff revealed that he had an Internet-pornography addiction. He recently started the podcast “Top Tips For Sexual Purity,” available on iTunes. He can be reached at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Best Magazine Deal. Subscribe now and get 3 magazines for the price of 1. Get Charisma, SpiritLed Woman and Ministry Today, all for $24. YES - I want this deal!

3 Reasons Why you should read Life in the Spirit. 1) Get to know the Holy Spirit. 2) Learn to enter God's presence 3) Hear God's voice clearly! Click Here to draw closer to God!

Your Turn

Comment Guidelines
View/Add Comments
  • Rev. Samuel Rodriguez was the first Hispanic pastor in history to pray at a presidential inauguration.

    At Trump Inauguration, Charismatic Leaders Pray Boldly in Jesus' Name. Is This Foreshadowing a New Day in America?

    It was an amazing day to let religious freedom ring in America.

  • Pastor Jim Garlow in a file photo shown praying.

    Conservative Christian Leaders Gather in DC, Calling Trump's Election an Answer to Prayer

    "Although the news media is predicting protests, what I'm seeing is that everyone is abuzz ...

  • Donald Trump certainly needs your prayers.

    Why You Must Pray for Donald Trump

    Here are eight ways I plan to intercede for President Trump regularly.

  • When I flew into D.C. yesterday, there were so many Secret Servicemen on the plane I wondered what was going on!

    Jennifer LeClaire Releases Urgent Prophetic Warning Over Washington, D.C.

    When I flew into D.C. yesterday, there were so many Secret Servicemen on the plane I wondered what ...

  • Here's a prophetic word for Washington, D.C.

    Prophecy: The Lord Is Raising Up Daniels in DC

    I believe we're on the precipice of a Third Great Awakening the Lord spoke to my heart about in ...

  • Does any of this reflect what's going on in your marriage?

    9 Characteristics of a Healthy Sexual Relationship for a Believer

    A healthy sexual relationship for a Christian couple takes effort, and it's worth working for.

  • Churches don't address this topic affecting women.

    The Secret Sorrow Women Carry

    This woman breaks the silence about a taboo subject to help restore many women.

  • Bishop Eddie Long died at 63.

    Bishop Eddie Long Dead at 63

    "Although his transition leaves a void for those of us who loved him dearly, we can celebrate ...

  • Continue Your Journey with the Holy Spirit

    Continue Your Journey with the Holy Spirit

    Follow God on the most fulfilling journey of your life with Encounter the Holy Spirit! Break away from past hurts and press into the One who wants a personal encounter with you.

  • Dream the Unimaginable In His Presence

    Dream the Unimaginable In His Presence

    Reach your full potential and be led by His Spirit. In His Presence takes you to a deeper understanding of who God is and how he communicates with us.

  • Set Your Spirit on Fire

    Set Your Spirit on Fire

    Receive the power and gifts that come through the Holy Spirit Baptism. Don’t go empty-handed; accept all that He has for you! His power is available to those who ask.

  • Put on the Full Armor of God

    Put on the Full Armor of God

    Break every stronghold with the power of the Holy Spirit. Use the power of your tongue to declare and decree the Word of God. Witness heaven move on your behalf.

Use Desktop Layout
Charisma Magazine — Empowering believers for life in the Spirit