Spirit-Led Woman

Want to receive SpiritLed Woman by email? Sign up here
abused woman

The SpiritLed Woman podcast is empowering women weekly to follow their purpose in Christ and boldly walk in faith. Listen at charismapodcastnetwork.com.

"Women who are being controlled often have thoughts of suicide," Evans says. "By the time abused women come to me, they're so devalued that they typically have feelings of self-abuse."

In Victoria's case, Frank's prominence in the church and the community enabled church members to look the other way when it became clear that he had emotionally abandoned his wife. He has managed to retain his leadership position in the church, despite their pending divorce.

Exposed by the Light

Abusive marriages don't have to end up like Victoria's. In many cases Christian couples have found the path to emotional healing and reconciliation.

Tim and Karen met while they were college students involved in a student ministry. Within months they were engaged and married shortly before their senior year. Soon, though, Tim's plans to attend seminary were shattered by Karen's unexpected pregnancy. The pressures of supporting a family triggered an eruption of violence against Karen.

At the time, the couple lived in a medium-sized city, which gave Tim an anonymity that enabled him to abuse his wife with impunity.

Eventually, two factors entered their lives that made a huge difference: a pastor who dared to confront and a job opportunity back in Tim's hometown.

Shortly before leaving the city, Karen's pastor intervened on her behalf (Tim had long since stopped going to church). He confronted Tim about his abuse and provided him with practical advice on how to deal with anger.

In 1983, Tim and Karen moved to the rural town where Tim's family had lived for generations. Suddenly, Tim was faced with a level of accountability he'd never known before.

"Living in a small town with a population of 2,000 has a fishbowl effect," he says. "I had a job as a teacher, and my behavior reflected on me professionally."

By 1985, the abuse had stopped completely, and Tim made himself accountable to others. Meanwhile, Karen forgave Tim and found emotional support among her Christian friends. Today, Karen, Tim and their four children attend church together.

There's no question in Tim's mind that what reversed his abusive behavior—and healed their marriage—was exposure. His message to both the abused and the abuser is clear: Make abusive behavior known immediately.

"Abuse and violence feed on darkness," he says. "Admitting that abuse exists sheds light on the sin. We've been too willing to allow secret sins to exist. The cure is exposure to the light." 

The Way Out of Abuse

There is now a nationwide counseling hotline for victims of domestic violence, something numerous agencies have tried for years to make available to both victims and abusers.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline can be reached by dialing (800) 799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233).

Several organizations provide information or referrals to agencies, support groups and professionals who assist victims of domestic abuse.

The following resources may be of benefit to you, if you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence. We encourage you to contact them. 

Alliance for Children and Families

(800) 220-1016 


American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy

(202) 452-0109 


Minirth Clinic

(888) MINIRTH (1-888-646-4784)


National Coalition Against Domestic Violence

(303) 839-1852 


National Council on Child Abuse and Family Violence

(202) 429-6695 


Rapha Treatment Centers

(800) 383-HOPE ( 1-800-383-4673 )


Center for the Prevention of Sexual and Domestic Violence

(206) 634-1903 


Rapha Treatment Centers Ministers' Hotline

(800) 383-4673 


Broken Vows, a one-hour video with study guide; available through the Center for the Prevention of Sexual and Domestic Violence (see phone number above).

* Not their real name

Marcia Ford, a former associate editor for Charisma, is an independent book, magazine and website editor who lives in DeBary, Fla. She is the author of Charisma Reports: The Brownsville Revival (Creation House).

Best Magazine Deal. Subscribe now and get 3 magazines for the price of 1. Get Charisma, SpiritLed Woman and Ministry Today, all for $24. YES - I want this deal!

3 Reasons Why you should read Life in the Spirit. 1) Get to know the Holy Spirit. 2) Learn to enter God's presence 3) Hear God's voice clearly! Click Here to draw closer to God!

Your Turn

Comment Guidelines
View/Add Comments
  • Rev. Samuel Rodriguez was the first Hispanic pastor in history to pray at a presidential inauguration.

    At Trump Inauguration, Charismatic Leaders Pray Boldly in Jesus' Name. Is This Foreshadowing a New Day in America?

    It was an amazing day to let religious freedom ring in America.

  • Pastor Jim Garlow in a file photo shown praying.

    Conservative Christian Leaders Gather in DC, Calling Trump's Election an Answer to Prayer

    "Although the news media is predicting protests, what I'm seeing is that everyone is abuzz ...

  • Donald Trump certainly needs your prayers.

    Why You Must Pray for Donald Trump

    Here are eight ways I plan to intercede for President Trump regularly.

  • When I flew into D.C. yesterday, there were so many Secret Servicemen on the plane I wondered what was going on!

    Jennifer LeClaire Releases Urgent Prophetic Warning Over Washington, D.C.

    When I flew into D.C. yesterday, there were so many Secret Servicemen on the plane I wondered what ...

  • Here's a prophetic word for Washington, D.C.

    Prophecy: The Lord Is Raising Up Daniels in DC

    I believe we're on the precipice of a Third Great Awakening the Lord spoke to my heart about in ...

  • Does any of this reflect what's going on in your marriage?

    9 Characteristics of a Healthy Sexual Relationship for a Believer

    A healthy sexual relationship for a Christian couple takes effort, and it's worth working for.

  • Churches don't address this topic affecting women.

    The Secret Sorrow Women Carry

    This woman breaks the silence about a taboo subject to help restore many women.

  • Bishop Eddie Long died at 63.

    Bishop Eddie Long Dead at 63

    "Although his transition leaves a void for those of us who loved him dearly, we can celebrate ...

  • Continue Your Journey with the Holy Spirit

    Continue Your Journey with the Holy Spirit

    Follow God on the most fulfilling journey of your life with Encounter the Holy Spirit! Break away from past hurts and press into the One who wants a personal encounter with you.

  • Dream the Unimaginable In His Presence

    Dream the Unimaginable In His Presence

    Reach your full potential and be led by His Spirit. In His Presence takes you to a deeper understanding of who God is and how he communicates with us.

  • Set Your Spirit on Fire

    Set Your Spirit on Fire

    Receive the power and gifts that come through the Holy Spirit Baptism. Don’t go empty-handed; accept all that He has for you! His power is available to those who ask.

  • Put on the Full Armor of God

    Put on the Full Armor of God

    Break every stronghold with the power of the Holy Spirit. Use the power of your tongue to declare and decree the Word of God. Witness heaven move on your behalf.

Use Desktop Layout
Charisma Magazine — Empowering believers for life in the Spirit