Spirit-Led Woman

Want to receive SpiritLed Woman by email? Sign up here
man in tears with Bible
Pornography is prevalent online. A wife can be a key to her husband's freedom from pornography.

The SpiritLed Woman podcast is empowering women weekly to follow their purpose in Christ and boldly walk in faith. Listen at charismapodcastnetwork.com.

My husband and I had been married only a few years when he came home from work one day to say he had been suspended for online pornography. I was then pregnant with our second child. It felt like an atomic bomb had fallen on me: All that I thought was safe and stable in my life imploded, and everything around me went into slow motion.

Eighty percent of Christian men admit to struggling with an addiction to pornography. I had been a fairly good girl my whole life. I never dreamed that my marriage would become part of a statistic like this. Honestly, in order to reflect reality, the statistic should be much higher. Pornography is the church’s dirty little family secret that no one is allowed to talk about.

My husband was one of many men in today’s society who was exposed to pornography by the age of 6. Initial exposure to pornography is often not by choice but rather in the form of advertising or through another person’s influence. Pornography is presented to men or boys as entertainment and, like addiction to gaming systems, its imprisonment comes as a total surprise. Pornography's iron fist is stronger than self-will or any counseling tactic.

But in one moment, God changed our story. After 30 years of struggling, my husband experienced freedom and innocence again. And his freedom was my freedom.

As a wife, you are in a place of tremendous influence in the situation. You can build or crush his faith in God, the only hope of his rescue. Your husband watches your words, attitudes and responses, and though he may not admit it, they bear so much weight in the end result.

Here are some things to remember as a wife:

1. It’s nothing personal. Sure, it feels personal, but an addiction has nothing to do with you. He isn’t rejecting you. He is entrapped in something bigger than himself. Remind yourself often: “I am not the victim here. He is.”

2. Decide to be compassionate. Your husband is human and flawed like everyone else. I would often have to remind myself of who I knew my husband to really be: a man who loves God and sincerely wants to please Him. If you can offer compassion to a drug addict that desperately wants to be free, why can’t you offer compassion to your own husband?

3. Be careful not to view him as “dirty.” If he is dirty, then you are too. Guilt is guilt, and we are all guilty of sin. Shame is not a gift from God, but is rather a tactic of Satan to drive the imprisoned deeper into hiding with their chains. Protect and enforce a safe atmosphere, free from criticism and judgment, for him to come to God and receive freedom. You can do that with carefully spoken words that build up his faith and reinforce proper perspective: He loves God and needs Jesus just like we all do.

Lastly, pray a lot more and speak a lot less. The Bible says that Jesus can heal with just one word. Pray for your husband frequently, and pray for yourself to have a right heart toward him. One word from the mouth of God created the universe. One word can recreate your marriage too.

Sarah Keith lives in Kansas City, Mo., with her husband and four children. She is a former high school English teacher and has assisted in writing and editing various ministry materials for her church, World Revival Church.

Draw closer to God. Experience the presence of the Holy Spirit every month as you read Charisma magazine. Sign up now to get Charisma for as low as $1 per issue.

Get to know the Holy Spirit and how to interact with Him on a daily basis. Learn to enter God's presence and hear His voice clearly for yourself! Go deeper in your faith with Life in the Spirit and change your life and destiny. Are you ready to start your journey?

Your Turn

Comment Guidelines
View/Add Comments
  • Chuck Pierce is calling the month ahead "critical."

    Chuck Pierce Prophesies 'Short, 10-Year Window' in the Nations

    Russia is a big part of what he sees.

  • A bit of flirting may seem innocent, but it can lead to destructive behavior.

    3 Do's and Don'ts When Communicating With Women Other Than Your Wife

    Do you and your wife have any other rules for communicating with the opposite sex?

  • The Things That Hold Us Back

    The Things That Hold Us Back

    The rich young ruler, like many of us today, was in a “quandary.” He wanted to follow Jesus, but he loved the lifestyle his money provided for him.

  • Warring angels

    Prophetic Word: 'I Saw Angels at Almost the Speed of Light'

    Here is why you must pray them through for yourself and for your nation.

  • Get the answer to your challenging circumstance in this insight from James 1:5.

    Early Warning Signs You're About to Make a Terrible Decision

    Is Holy Spirit sounding off these alarms in your life?

  • Cindy Jacobs is encouraging intercessors across the country to pray to keep the nation stabilized through December 19th.

    Cindy Jacobs Issues Critical Post-Election Prayer Alert

    Will you keep watching and praying?

  • This revivalist had a vision of hell.

    Revivalist: I Went to Hell in a Dream

    After God took him on a prophetic journey, John Burton left with an important message for the ...

  • Fidel Castro

    Castro Couldn't Kill Christianity in Cuba

    The sober truth is the world is a safer place now that Cuba's dictator is dead.

  • Don't let pornography impede God's plan for your life.

    How Watching Pornography Ruins the Destiny God Has for You

    If the devil can seduce you, he can reduce you.

  • Continue Your Journey with the Holy Spirit

    Continue Your Journey with the Holy Spirit

    Follow God on the most fulfilling journey of your life with Encounter the Holy Spirit! Break away from past hurts and press into the One who wants a personal encounter with you.

  • Dream the Unimaginable In His Presence

    Dream the Unimaginable In His Presence

    Reach your full potential and be led by His Spirit. In His Presence takes you to a deeper understanding of who God is and how he communicates with us.

  • Set Your Spirit on Fire

    Set Your Spirit on Fire

    Receive the power and gifts that come through the Holy Spirit Baptism. Don’t go empty-handed; accept all that He has for you! His power is available to those who ask.

  • Put on the Full Armor of God

    Put on the Full Armor of God

    Break every stronghold with the power of the Holy Spirit. Use the power of your tongue to declare and decree the Word of God. Witness heaven move on your behalf.

Use Desktop Layout
Charisma Magazine — Empowering believers for life in the Spirit