Spirit-Led Woman

Want to receive SpiritLed Woman by email? Sign up here
fighting couple

The SpiritLed Woman podcast is empowering women weekly to follow their purpose in Christ and boldly walk in faith. Listen at charismapodcastnetwork.com.

“So, spread love everywhere you go—first of all in your home. Give love to your children, to your wife or husband, to a next-door neighbor.” —Mother Teresa

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” —Ephesians 4:32

The couple sat next to each other, miles apart. She wanted to work on it. He said he did too. So over the next several weeks, we did our best to walk through the problems

Each had a laundry list of complaints. She did this, this, this and this. He did this, this, this and this. I listened carefully to each of them, and I tried to teach them to listen to each other. We practiced reflective listening, and we talked through the steps of conflict resolution

My approach was based on the words of a mentor counselor, “It is never about the laundry lists. It is always about the communication.”

Eventually, they told me things had improved. I was glad but unsure. To me, there was still something missing, particularly for him. They had learned the how of communication, but they lacked a change of heart. 

Not knowing how else to help them, I agreed they had come far enough and secretly hoped it was true. I didn't see either of them for a couple of years—until I sat behind him at a social engagement. He was sitting with his new girlfriend.

All relationships are difficult. Whenever you put two flawed people together, it won't take long until you get a list of complaints: They are selfish. They are irresponsible. They are proud. And these complaints pull us apart, threatening to destroy the relationship. 

But God made us to be connected to one another, so what are we to do? “The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him'” (Gen. 2:18). “If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no-one to help him up!” (Eccl. 4:10). For the longest time I believed that my mentor was right and that the most important thing in good relationships was the communication. 

But now, after years of ministry (and marriage), I see it differently. Communication is not the most important thing in good relationships. It is the second most important thing. The most important thing is grace.

Imperfect people will, by definition, let us down. They will fail us, hurt us and annoy us. And don't count on them changing. As Rich Mullins once said, “My friends aren't the way I wish they were; they are just the way they are.”

Every relationship you have, from your spouse to your neighbor, requires grace. And the more important the relationship, the more grace you will need to give—for the more deeply you know someone, the more deeply flawed you will discover them to be.

“Love your neighbor as yourself,” Jesus commanded. In other words, give your relationships a spoonful or two of loving-kindness. But how exactly do we do that? I believe gracing your relationships requires changing two law-based attitudes that lay deep within our hearts: justice and judgment.

Ryan Hobbs has been a teacher, pastor and church planter and has a master's segree in counseling. He has an ecclectic ministry background that has led to a passion for practical discipleship. Check out his blog, Practical Devotion, for daily insights into putting Jesus into real life.

Draw closer to God. Experience the presence of the Holy Spirit every month as you read Charisma magazine. Sign up now to get Charisma for as low as $1 per issue.

Get to know the Holy Spirit and how to interact with Him on a daily basis. Learn to enter God's presence and hear His voice clearly for yourself! Go deeper in your faith with Life in the Spirit and change your life and destiny. Are you ready to start your journey?

Your Turn

Comment Guidelines
View/Add Comments
  • Chuck Pierce is calling the month ahead "critical."

    Chuck Pierce Prophesies 'Short, 10-Year Window' in the Nations

    Russia is a big part of what he sees.

  • Warring angels

    Prophetic Word: 'I Saw Angels at Almost the Speed of Light'

    Here is why you must pray them through for yourself and for your nation.

  • Get the answer to your challenging circumstance in this insight from James 1:5.

    Early Warning Signs You're About to Make a Terrible Decision

    Is Holy Spirit sounding off these alarms in your life?

  • This revivalist had a vision of hell.

    Revivalist: I Went to Hell in a Dream

    After God took him on a prophetic journey, John Burton left with an important message for the ...

  • A bit of flirting may seem innocent, but it can lead to destructive behavior.

    3 Do's and Don'ts When Communicating With Women Other Than Your Wife

    Do you and your wife have any other rules for communicating with the opposite sex?

  • Cindy Jacobs is encouraging intercessors across the country to pray to keep the nation stabilized through December 19th.

    Cindy Jacobs Issues Critical Post-Election Prayer Alert

    Will you keep watching and praying?

  • Fidel Castro

    Castro Couldn't Kill Christianity in Cuba

    The sober truth is the world is a safer place now that Cuba's dictator is dead.

  • Don't let pornography impede God's plan for your life.

    How Watching Pornography Ruins the Destiny God Has for You

    If the devil can seduce you, he can reduce you.

  • Continue Your Journey with the Holy Spirit

    Continue Your Journey with the Holy Spirit

    Follow God on the most fulfilling journey of your life with Encounter the Holy Spirit! Break away from past hurts and press into the One who wants a personal encounter with you.

  • Dream the Unimaginable In His Presence

    Dream the Unimaginable In His Presence

    Reach your full potential and be led by His Spirit. In His Presence takes you to a deeper understanding of who God is and how he communicates with us.

  • Set Your Spirit on Fire

    Set Your Spirit on Fire

    Receive the power and gifts that come through the Holy Spirit Baptism. Don’t go empty-handed; accept all that He has for you! His power is available to those who ask.

  • Put on the Full Armor of God

    Put on the Full Armor of God

    Break every stronghold with the power of the Holy Spirit. Use the power of your tongue to declare and decree the Word of God. Witness heaven move on your behalf.

Use Desktop Layout
Charisma Magazine — Empowering believers for life in the Spirit