Spirit-Led Woman

Want to receive SpiritLed Woman by email? Sign up here
kids
(iStockPhoto.com)

The SpiritLed Woman podcast is empowering women weekly to follow their purpose in Christ and boldly walk in faith. Listen at charismapodcastnetwork.com.


Wouldn’t it be great if we had a dashboard for each kid? On the dashboard is an array of “dummy” indicators that tell you how full their love tank is, if their truth-indicator has a leak or when they need a little fine-tuning.
 
But alas, this doesn’t exist. We find we must rely more on our parental intuition to determine the needs of our kids that lie beneath the surface. And frankly, that’s just tougher to stick a fork in.
 
At an annual marriage and parent summit, one dad posed this question: "How do I diffuse the competition for attention? I don't want my daughter competing for attention or desiring attention so much that she'll do anything to get it."
 
Here are a few thoughts I have on this well stated question.
 
1. Kids Do What Works
 
Kids will lean toward what they can count on. If they can count on attention using negative tactics, they'll use those tactics every time. Why? Because it works. Even if it’s not the type of attention they want, it’s still attention.
 
2. Give Them Attention They Can Count On
 
A great leadership tool in life is managing the expectations of others. When you make expectations clear, you manage what others expect from you. This works wonders with our kids.
 
Sit down and make an agreement with your child. Agree upon a 15-minute window every day that they know they can count on—a 15-minute "date" that you set aside just for them. A time they have your attention without fail. Have a special meeting place, and be there. Don't miss it.
 
In fact, here are a few things to make this time a huge success: 
  • Give them your undivided attention. Turn off your phone. Remove distractions, and engage in their world for a few minutes.
  • Begin and end on time. Whatever you do, fight to start on time. Prove they're a priority by being there when you say you’ll be there.
  • Give them your words. Your child needs to know what you think of them. This is a great time to invest your words into their heart. Start with simple phrases like:
    • "I noticed you ..."
    • "It makes me smile when you ..."
    • "I always love how you ..."
 
3. Set Date Nights
 
There are a ton of benefits to a regular date with your child.  But for the purpose of this conversation, I’ll keep it focused. Date nights only elevate the special nature of attention from a parent—especially the parent of multiple kids. Date nights are a break from the routine that don’t have to be costly; they just have to be intentional. Use that time to know them. Ask them questions like:
  • "If you could have one meal everyday for the rest of your life, what would it be?"
  • "If God gave you superpowers, what do you hope for?"
  • "One day you get to ask God any question you want. What question would you ask Him today?"
Let them drive the conversation. All you need to do is keep it going and enjoy it.
 
Investing your attention in your child today goes a long way toward letting them know they matter. Your love over time will help your child understand they matter. Your words over time will help direct their path and anchor their sense of value in the truth. Setting time aside just for them creates a conduit through which you can feed your love and words into them in a way they can grasp.
 
Gina McClain is a speaker, writer and children’s ministry director at Faith Promise Church in Knoxville, Tenn. Her marriage to Kyle keeps her marginally sane, while their three kids (Keegan, Josie and Connor) keep her from taking herself too seriously. Visit her blog at ginamcclain.com for more information about her ministry.

Best Magazine Deal. Subscribe now and get 3 magazines for the price of 1. Get Charisma, SpiritLed Woman and Ministry Today, all for $24. YES - I want this deal!

3 Reasons Why you should read Life in the Spirit. 1) Get to know the Holy Spirit. 2) Learn to enter God's presence 3) Hear God's voice clearly! Click Here to draw closer to God!

Your Turn

Comment Guidelines
View/Add Comments
  • Rev. Samuel Rodriguez was the first Hispanic pastor in history to pray at a presidential inauguration.

    At Trump Inauguration, Charismatic Leaders Pray Boldly in Jesus' Name. Is This Foreshadowing a New Day in America?

    It was an amazing day to let religious freedom ring in America.

  • Pastor Jim Garlow in a file photo shown praying.

    Conservative Christian Leaders Gather in DC, Calling Trump's Election an Answer to Prayer

    "Although the news media is predicting protests, what I'm seeing is that everyone is abuzz ...

  • Donald Trump certainly needs your prayers.

    Why You Must Pray for Donald Trump

    Here are eight ways I plan to intercede for President Trump regularly.

  • When I flew into D.C. yesterday, there were so many Secret Servicemen on the plane I wondered what was going on!

    Jennifer LeClaire Releases Urgent Prophetic Warning Over Washington, D.C.

    When I flew into D.C. yesterday, there were so many Secret Servicemen on the plane I wondered what ...

  • Here's a prophetic word for Washington, D.C.

    Prophecy: The Lord Is Raising Up Daniels in DC

    I believe we're on the precipice of a Third Great Awakening the Lord spoke to my heart about in ...

  • Does any of this reflect what's going on in your marriage?

    9 Characteristics of a Healthy Sexual Relationship for a Believer

    A healthy sexual relationship for a Christian couple takes effort, and it's worth working for.

  • Churches don't address this topic affecting women.

    The Secret Sorrow Women Carry

    This woman breaks the silence about a taboo subject to help restore many women.

  • Bishop Eddie Long died at 63.

    Bishop Eddie Long Dead at 63

    "Although his transition leaves a void for those of us who loved him dearly, we can celebrate ...

  • Continue Your Journey with the Holy Spirit

    Continue Your Journey with the Holy Spirit

    Follow God on the most fulfilling journey of your life with Encounter the Holy Spirit! Break away from past hurts and press into the One who wants a personal encounter with you.

  • Dream the Unimaginable In His Presence

    Dream the Unimaginable In His Presence

    Reach your full potential and be led by His Spirit. In His Presence takes you to a deeper understanding of who God is and how he communicates with us.

  • Set Your Spirit on Fire

    Set Your Spirit on Fire

    Receive the power and gifts that come through the Holy Spirit Baptism. Don’t go empty-handed; accept all that He has for you! His power is available to those who ask.

  • Put on the Full Armor of God

    Put on the Full Armor of God

    Break every stronghold with the power of the Holy Spirit. Use the power of your tongue to declare and decree the Word of God. Witness heaven move on your behalf.

Use Desktop Layout
Charisma Magazine — Empowering believers for life in the Spirit