Spirit-Led Woman

Want to receive SpiritLed Woman by email? Sign up here
mad couple
(http://www.stockfreeimages.com)

The SpiritLed Woman podcast is empowering women weekly to follow their purpose in Christ and boldly walk in faith. Listen at charismapodcastnetwork.com.


5. Seek Wise Counsel

Plug into a marriage Bible study. Third-party opinions help us take our emotions out of the equation. We all need accountability. We’re going to mess up.

Coming together weekly with other Christian couples helped us realize we were not the only relationship with quirky disagreements. Feeling normal was helpful. So did implementing the advice we received. Each week we worked through an area of our marriage. We started to communicate about sticky subjects and found a common ground. That’s where the healing begins.

6. Kill the Contempt

Well-known relationship psychologist Dr. John Gottman studied behavioral patterns in couples and found four common characteristics that increased the likelihood for divorce. These included “criticism of partners’ personality, contempt (from a position of superiority), defensiveness, and stonewalling, or emotional withdrawal from interaction.” His studies confirmed that “stable couples handle conflicts in gentle, positive ways, and are supportive of each other.”

Dr. Gottman equates contempt with pouring sulphuric acid on love: “Not only does it destroy love, but it also destroys the immune system of the person who receives this contempt.”

What nonverbal and verbal signals are you sending when you disagree? Can changing our responses really make a difference? The experts seem to think so.

7. Follow the Biblical Mandate for Marriage

Love and respect are biblical mandates (Eph. 5:33). According to marriage expert Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, “Love best motivates a woman, and respect most powerfully motivates a man.”

Most men desire admiration and thrive when they are valued. Women, on the other hand, gravitate toward romance novels, chick flicks and weddings. Why? Women love the idea of love—warm fuzzies, first-time tingles, but mostly the security they feel when someone chooses them above any other. Pick me. Want me. Cherish me.

There’s nothing wrong with this. It’s a beautiful design by the Father. God told men to love their wives like Christ loves the church. Why would He have to tell us this? He knew once the guy got the girl that his focus would shift to conquer work, hobbies, sports or other distractions. There’s nothing wrong with hobbies or goals. Just be certain your priorities are straight. An unloved wife builds resentment for her husband.

Likewise, something happens when women value their husband’s words. He stands a little taller, he cherishes his wife, and he desires to spend time with her.

Dr. Gottman also discovered that the most important sign of an unwavering marriage was how a couple resolved an argument. He found that lack of respect for your partner pushed them further away. Interestingly, these precepts correlate biblically. Treat each other the way you want to be treated (Matt. 7:12). Honor one another (Rom. 12:10). We have the ultimate template for happiness right in front of us.

Read your Bible, follow God’s mandates, and watch your relationship strengthen.

If you are intentional about putting your spouse first, the rest will fall into place. But the choice is up to you. You’re a team. Act like a team. Come out swinging to make it, with callused knees and an understanding heart and lots of fun behind closed doors.

Let’s skew the 50 percent statistic, and blame our better-than-engagement love on prayer, sex, love and respect.

Dabney Hedegard is the author of When God Intervenes. Visit her at dabneyland.com or on Twitter @dabneyland.

Best Magazine Deal. Subscribe now and get 3 magazines for the price of 1. Get Charisma, SpiritLed Woman and Ministry Today, all for $24. YES - I want this deal!

3 Reasons Why you should read Life in the Spirit. 1) Get to know the Holy Spirit. 2) Learn to enter God's presence 3) Hear God's voice clearly! Click Here to draw closer to God!

Your Turn

Comment Guidelines
View/Add Comments
  • Rev. Samuel Rodriguez was the first Hispanic pastor in history to pray at a presidential inauguration.

    At Trump Inauguration, Charismatic Leaders Pray Boldly in Jesus' Name. Is This Foreshadowing a New Day in America?

    It was an amazing day to let religious freedom ring in America.

  • Pastor Jim Garlow in a file photo shown praying.

    Conservative Christian Leaders Gather in DC, Calling Trump's Election an Answer to Prayer

    "Although the news media is predicting protests, what I'm seeing is that everyone is abuzz ...

  • Donald Trump certainly needs your prayers.

    Why You Must Pray for Donald Trump

    Here are eight ways I plan to intercede for President Trump regularly.

  • When I flew into D.C. yesterday, there were so many Secret Servicemen on the plane I wondered what was going on!

    Jennifer LeClaire Releases Urgent Prophetic Warning Over Washington, D.C.

    When I flew into D.C. yesterday, there were so many Secret Servicemen on the plane I wondered what ...

  • Here's a prophetic word for Washington, D.C.

    Prophecy: The Lord Is Raising Up Daniels in DC

    I believe we're on the precipice of a Third Great Awakening the Lord spoke to my heart about in ...

  • Does any of this reflect what's going on in your marriage?

    9 Characteristics of a Healthy Sexual Relationship for a Believer

    A healthy sexual relationship for a Christian couple takes effort, and it's worth working for.

  • Churches don't address this topic affecting women.

    The Secret Sorrow Women Carry

    This woman breaks the silence about a taboo subject to help restore many women.

  • Bishop Eddie Long died at 63.

    Bishop Eddie Long Dead at 63

    "Although his transition leaves a void for those of us who loved him dearly, we can celebrate ...

  • Continue Your Journey with the Holy Spirit

    Continue Your Journey with the Holy Spirit

    Follow God on the most fulfilling journey of your life with Encounter the Holy Spirit! Break away from past hurts and press into the One who wants a personal encounter with you.

  • Dream the Unimaginable In His Presence

    Dream the Unimaginable In His Presence

    Reach your full potential and be led by His Spirit. In His Presence takes you to a deeper understanding of who God is and how he communicates with us.

  • Set Your Spirit on Fire

    Set Your Spirit on Fire

    Receive the power and gifts that come through the Holy Spirit Baptism. Don’t go empty-handed; accept all that He has for you! His power is available to those who ask.

  • Put on the Full Armor of God

    Put on the Full Armor of God

    Break every stronghold with the power of the Holy Spirit. Use the power of your tongue to declare and decree the Word of God. Witness heaven move on your behalf.

Use Desktop Layout
Charisma Magazine — Empowering believers for life in the Spirit