Here are some steps to take to begin the process of healing from an affair:
1. Cease all contact with the person outside the marriage who was involved in the affair.
2. Express feelings related to the crisis.
3. Identify what made you vulnerable to an affair.
4. Figure out what the affair meant. Did you lose your spiritual grounding or want to hurt your partner? Are you afraid of intimacy, or is there some other reason for it occurring?
5. Forgive. Unforgiveness leads to bitterness and a host of physical and psychological problems.
6. Build caring moments into the relationship again.
7. Move toward reconciliation. Restore trust by trustworthy behavior and assurance. Don't live in fear of a recurrence. Determine to do things God's way.
8. Get counseling that incorporates the Word, prayer and leading of the Holy Spirit. There may be multiple wounds to be healed.
9. Don't live in continual condemnation after trust and true repentance have been established.
10. Believe God can restore what was broken and lost. This is His business. Your past is not a prologue to your future in God.