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Question: Doug, what should I look for when choosing an accountability partner?

Answer: The first thing to look for in a good accountability partner is someone who is regularly available for you. No matter how great someone is, if he can't get together or return phone calls, then he is going to be of little help to you. Second, find someone who will keep your talks focused on "accountability." So often these discussions evolve into "How are the wife and kids?" breakfast meetings. Keep questions about masturbation, pornography and lust in the forefront of the first few minutes of your meetings.

Finding a guy who is straightforward and willing to be brutally honest with himself is also critical. I've found that guys who are soft on themselves tend to be soft on others as well. Last, look for someone who does not need to be liked by you. If he needs for you to like him or if he fears rejection, then he will be less effective as your accountability partner.

As men, accountability partners are essential to our Christian walk. I so appreciate the guy who has served me in that role for the last eight years. A man who will hold you accountable can help you with parenting, marriage, money, business, relationships, sexual integrity and other issues in your life.

Doug Weiss, Ph.D., is a nationally known author and therapist and the founder of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colo. This article was orginally in New Man eMagazine.

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