New Man

Want to receive New Man by email? Sign up here
You can still love your wife, even if you don't like her at times.
You can still love your wife, even if you don't like her at times. (Getty Images )

Over these 15 years of marriage, I've realized that loving my wife and liking my wife aren't necessarily a pair that always fit together.

This is especially the case when I feel my wife doesn't respect my simple requests. One such request is to dry clean my shirts rather than washing them. This topic has been discussed several times over the years. One time, she ruined one of my favorite shirts after I'd told her I prefer to dry clean this shirt versus wash it. Instead of listening, she decided to throw it in with our regular laundry. Unfortunately, my shirt did not survive the wash and came out with bleach spots.

With my ruined shirt in hand, I realized I really didn't like my wife in that moment. But I still must love her. Love is more than a feeling; it is a choice. We have the ability to choose love.

Here are four ways to choose to love your spouse when you don't even like her.

1. Treat her better than you treat yourself. Think about how you react when you mess up. You still do everything in your best interest. You don't say discouraging things about your mistakes; you don't feel guilty constantly. Instead, you try to move on. Do the same for your wife even when she's messed up or is not enjoyable.

2. Think of how life would be without her. My wife is going back to work after 12 years of working from home and being a stay-at-home homeschooling mom. To say the dynamics of our household will change is the understatement of the year. And this isn't death or sickness, just eight hours away from home per day. I could only imagine if this were permanent, like death. I'd sleep alone each night, my kids couldn't get those hugs they love from her, I wouldn't have her perspective when dealing with teenage daughter things. Not to mention the logistics of having multiple kids and schedules that sometimes require two parents to pull off successfully. The list could go on and on.

3. Sacrifice through serving her. There is something great about giving up things for yourself to help, encourage or benefit someone else—it is fulfilling. Skip times with the fellas to cook dinner for her. Miss the game to watch Lifetime or Hallmark with her. Do the laundry so she doesn't have to. Miss your lunch break, so you can bring her food after she forgot her lunch. Allow your service in love to get past the parts or times when you don't like her.

4. Set her apart. When speaking of my wife to other people, I typically refer to her as "my wife." I rarely refer to her as Stephana. I do this because I'm the only one who can do that. Nobody else can call her "my wife." It sets her apart and shows her and everyone around that she is special. Additionally, even when I don't necessarily like her, I speak well of her to others.

So even when I'm frustrated, confused or hurt by her, she is still my wife, and my love and actions for her is to be different from everybody else. I hold her hand, touch her differently, introduce her first when speaking with someone she doesn't know and give her my jacket if she's cold. I challenge you to find ways you can set your wife apart from others and show everyone, especially her, how special she is.

Jackie Bledsoe is an author, blogger, and speaker but first and foremost a husband and father of three, who helps men better lead and love the ones who matter most.

Best Magazine Deal. Subscribe now and get 3 magazines for the price of 1. Get Charisma, SpiritLed Woman and Ministry Today, all for $24. YES - I want this deal!

3 Reasons Why you should read Life in the Spirit. 1) Get to know the Holy Spirit. 2) Learn to enter God's presence 3) Hear God's voice clearly! Click Here to draw closer to God!

Your Turn

Comment Guidelines
View/Add Comments
  • Rev. Samuel Rodriguez was the first Hispanic pastor in history to pray at a presidential inauguration.

    At Trump Inauguration, Charismatic Leaders Pray Boldly in Jesus' Name. Is This Foreshadowing a New Day in America?

    It was an amazing day to let religious freedom ring in America.

  • Pastor Jim Garlow in a file photo shown praying.

    Conservative Christian Leaders Gather in DC, Calling Trump's Election an Answer to Prayer

    "Although the news media is predicting protests, what I'm seeing is that everyone is abuzz ...

  • Donald Trump certainly needs your prayers.

    Why You Must Pray for Donald Trump

    Here are eight ways I plan to intercede for President Trump regularly.

  • When I flew into D.C. yesterday, there were so many Secret Servicemen on the plane I wondered what was going on!

    Jennifer LeClaire Releases Urgent Prophetic Warning Over Washington, D.C.

    When I flew into D.C. yesterday, there were so many Secret Servicemen on the plane I wondered what ...

  • Here's a prophetic word for Washington, D.C.

    Prophecy: The Lord Is Raising Up Daniels in DC

    I believe we're on the precipice of a Third Great Awakening the Lord spoke to my heart about in ...

  • Does any of this reflect what's going on in your marriage?

    9 Characteristics of a Healthy Sexual Relationship for a Believer

    A healthy sexual relationship for a Christian couple takes effort, and it's worth working for.

  • Churches don't address this topic affecting women.

    The Secret Sorrow Women Carry

    This woman breaks the silence about a taboo subject to help restore many women.

  • Bishop Eddie Long died at 63.

    Bishop Eddie Long Dead at 63

    "Although his transition leaves a void for those of us who loved him dearly, we can celebrate ...

  • Continue Your Journey with the Holy Spirit

    Continue Your Journey with the Holy Spirit

    Follow God on the most fulfilling journey of your life with Encounter the Holy Spirit! Break away from past hurts and press into the One who wants a personal encounter with you.

  • Dream the Unimaginable In His Presence

    Dream the Unimaginable In His Presence

    Reach your full potential and be led by His Spirit. In His Presence takes you to a deeper understanding of who God is and how he communicates with us.

  • Set Your Spirit on Fire

    Set Your Spirit on Fire

    Receive the power and gifts that come through the Holy Spirit Baptism. Don’t go empty-handed; accept all that He has for you! His power is available to those who ask.

  • Put on the Full Armor of God

    Put on the Full Armor of God

    Break every stronghold with the power of the Holy Spirit. Use the power of your tongue to declare and decree the Word of God. Witness heaven move on your behalf.

Use Desktop Layout
Charisma Magazine — Empowering believers for life in the Spirit