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How would your kids rate you as a parent?
How would your kids rate you as a parent? (Stock Free Images)

Most engaged parents want to know that they have a good relationship with their son or daughter. But sometimes it's tough to tell just how solid that relationship really is.

You might think things are going great, but your child might think otherwise. Or your child might feel like things are fine but you feel like you've fallen short as a mom or dad.

Well, the best way to evaluate your relationship with your child isn't to take an exam or ask someone else. The best way is to ask your child.

So, here are 20 questions to ask your child to help evaluate where your relationship needs improvement and where it's thriving. You don't have to formally ask them all these questions in one sitting. You can just casually ask as many as you'd like when the timing is right.

  1. How do you know I love you?
  2. Would you say I'm a bad, OK or good listener when you talk to me?
  3. Do I make your mom/dad happy or sad? Do we fight too much?
  4. What are some areas where I can improve as your mom/dad?
  5. How often do we spend time together? Do you wish we spent more time together?
  6. Would you say I'm better at giving compliments or at criticizing?
  7. Am I fair when I discipline you?
  8. How often do I hug you? Do I hug you enough?
  9. On a scale of 1-10, do I do a good job getting to know your friends?
  10. Do you trust me in everything?
  11. Have I broken any promises to you? If so, which ones?
  12. Do I treat you and your brothers/sisters equally?
  13. What's the most fun thing we've ever done together?
  14. What is one thing you wish I would stop doing?
  15. What is one thing you would like me to keep doing?
  16. What things would you like to learn from me that I have not taught you?
  17. If you could change our relationship in any way, how would you?
  18. How have I helped you over the last couple of months? How can I help you more?
  19. What do you want most from me?
  20. What do you wish I would say more often?

If you have more than one child, I encourage you to pull each of them aside separately and ask them this series of questions. For more ways to communicate with your child, check out "The Best Conversation Starters for Teenagers."

What are some other questions you plan to ask your child to evaluate how your relationship is doing? Leave a comment below.

Mark Merrill is the president of Family First. For the original article, visit

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