Stress is the key factor in many things that go wrong in our lives. This includes our marriages.
In a partnership, there must be give and take to create a sustainable balance. There are times when our partners need us to motivate them, and in the same fashion, there are times when we just need to cut them some slack.
Here are four examples of when it would be a good play to just give her a hug and let it be:
1. When she has a problem that doesn’t involve you. Let’s face it: Men like to fix things, and that includes our wives when they are hurting or troubled. Yet also facing facts, men and women do not process things in the same way in almost all cases. Our meddling often leads to making it worse. In these situations, what she needs is a listener and some compassion. If our advice is asked for, then we can provide it.
2. When she is double-fisting the chocolate. OK, that’s an obvious exaggeration. But there are surefire signals to know when your wife is at maximum stress capacity, and most husbands know what those are. This is a good time to ask what you can do to help—such as change the diaper on the baby, run a load of laundry or do the dishes in the sink. Allow her to sit down and be alone in thought and prayer for a while, and cut some slack off her plate.
3. When she is being overly moody. Our wives are usually more emotional than we are. At those times when she is in a vulnerable state, let it slide—or as Bill Cosby used to advise in such a funny way, just say, “Yes, dear.” She’ll get back to normal before you know it. And if she doesn’t, it will help develop patient endurance in you.
4. When she is in conflict with other women. This might sound chauvinistic, but it isn’t meant that way in the least and comes from experience. Never take another woman’s side over your wife’s in the heat of the moment. Correcting her in that situation is a bad idea. If she is in the wrong, wait until another, calmer moment to intercede and offer guidance. Be her rock she can always depend on.
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