A recent study reports one-third of new marriages start with online dating; obviously making the computer the latest, greatest cupid’s arrow. I can see where online dating websites can play a role in connecting two people, but they don’t replace two of God’s timely dating truths:
1. Where to Begin?
You can do relationships your way or God’s way.So many adults take a vacation from God in the dating and sex arena only to wind up paying a steep emotional and relational price that will harm them for the rest of their lives. You may relate to thinking either you know better than God (pride) or that you will “miss out” (fear) if you honor him. Both impatience and arrogance breed horrible dating decisions.
God knows more. God loves you. God has your best interest in mind. That’s the mentality I wish more people approached dating with, and looked to God for how to do it right. God’s way in dating involves trusting in Him, His plan for your life, and trusting Him for your future partner—before you even start dating.
In Psalm 37:4-5, the Bible says “Take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust in Him and He will do this”. How does this play out in the dating arena? Invest your time and energy in knowing God, delighting in the process, and committing to honor Him with your actions. If you trust and obey His plan, He will match you with the ideal mate when you are ready.
A healthy relationship requires two healthy individuals who are both seeking God and His plan for their lives. A relationship with God is the ultimate common trait men (and women) should seek in a future mate. Without that common bond, there are too many weaknesses -- or targets—for the enemy to shoot at.
2. The Dating Litmus Test
The quality of your dating relationship will directly reflect the quality of your character. Men are prone to believing a culture that throws relationships to the wind, preferring to ‘score’ with chicks, get in-and-out of the sack without any harm, and racking up babes while protecting their hearts and avoiding commitment. But God’s ultimate dating litmus test is this: The quality of your relationships directly reflects the quality of your character.
God’s plan is a character-development plan, working on your true nature, and developing you for a future of adversity and abundance. If your character needs work, then your relationships are going to fail and be filled with hurt and pain. But as God prepares your character, you will be prepared for a relationship that honors God, your mate, your family and future.
Consider what the Bible says in Matthew 12:35, “A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart.”
If you are committed to dating God’s way, then you will be patient with the process of knowing God and allow for character development so that when God puts your mate in your path, you are ready and able to carry out God’s plan.
Please add a comment on the bottom of this article to let us know what your biggest challenges with dating are.
If you would like to be ready for God’s mate for you, find Godly men to hang out with, focus on Jesus and your character development. Additional resources available HERE.
Kenny Luck, founder of Every Man Ministries and Men’s Pastor at Saddleback Church, provides biblically-oriented teaching and leadership for men and pastors seeking relevant, timely material that battle cultural, worldly concepts threatening men and God’s men. Follow Kenny and Every Man Ministries now on Facebook, Twitter (@everyMM) and YouTube.