New Man

Want to receive New Man by email? Sign up here
I Love You Letter
(Salvatore Vuono/Free Digital Photos)

Men, I have been writing my wife a weekly love letter for more than a year. That’s not a sentence I would have ever expected to write about myself.

I am not a man of outward sentimentality, and I very rarely make my emotions known. Most people would call me calm and hard to read.

But what I learned is this: As good as it can be for me to remain solid and calm in the storms of life, my wife needs something more. My wife needs to be loved, and she wants to be romanced. I learned after a year of marriage that it wasn’t enough to just show up, and I couldn’t stop with just providing a paycheck. I needed to do more to show my wife how much I love her.

And I don’t think I am alone. I bet that your wives also want to be loved and hear from your heart. They want to know just how deeply you love them.

I am not going to push you all to start writing a weekly blog to your wife. Instead, I want to encourage you to start small. All I want you to do is this: I want you to write a short, handwritten letter to your wife today, right now. Think of one thing about her or one thing she does that makes you thankful to have married her. Write it down and give her that note. Let her know you love and appreciate her.

In case you aren’t already convinced about writing that love note, let me offer you
five reasons why you should be writing love notes to your wife.

1. You will fan the flames of love in your marriage. Gary Chapman famously explained the concept of love languages, and the first language he describes in book is "words of affirmation." For many women, they feel most loved when they are spoken to kindly, when they are praised and when they are otherwise wooed with your words. Your wife will know she is loved when she reads that short note from you.

Go ahead and write a short love note now. Just put down two sentences about one thing you like about your wife. Now leave the note on your wife’s bedside table. Just trust me on this one.

2. The smartest man in the world gave his wife love notes. Okay, so maybe Solomon didn’t literally write his love letters to his wife, but the book of Song of Solomon is a collection of all his words of love to his fiancée and later his wife. The dude knew how to make his wife feel loved: “Behold, you are beautiful, my love; behold, you are beautiful; your eyes are doves” (Song 1:15).

The Bible tells us that Solomon was given special wisdom by God, and in another place it tells us that he was the wisest man to walk this earth. We can all learn from his example, and we should see in Song of Solomon that there is great joy and delight in romancing our wives with our words.

3. Your words help your wife begin to understand you. “To wives, husbands often appear as mysterious islands”, wrote Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, author of Love and Respect. We men are not always great at sharing our thoughts or our feelings, so our wives are often left in the dark wondering what’s going on behind our stony demeanor.

Your love letter to your wife will allow her to pierce that fog and see into the real you. It will provide a window into what you’re thinking and feeling, and for that your wife will be deeply grateful. So, why not do it? Right now, take two minutes to write down one kind thing to your wife. Give her a glimpse into how you see her.

4. It is your responsibility to meet your wife’s needs. God chose to give you to your wife and vice versa. He put the two of you together, and you have now become one flesh. Husbands, some of your wife’s needs are now your responsibility, and they are yours alone. Many of those are her emotional needs and it is your responsibility, your challenge to satisfy those needs. In the book His Needs, Her Needs, author Willard F. Harley Jr. wrote, “When one spouse’s important emotional needs are unmet, you are being unfair to that spouse, who must go through life without ethical alternatives.”

Yes, your wife can find emotional outlets in romantic comedies, daytime TV shows or the latest romance novel—but she shouldn’t have to, men. Her craving for romance is yours to satisfy. Don’t leave your wife’s needs for Hollywood to satisfy; don’t make her turn to her favorite author because she isn’t finding romance in your marriage.

5. Why not? Finally, let me ask you this: What do you have to lose? Not time, because it won’t take you three minutes. Just put pen to paper now, or type up a quick email. Write two sentences. That’s all you need to start.

Go ahead and write your wife a love letter!

Manturity is a blog built on establishing spiritual maturity in today’s man. The goal is to assist men in building better marriages, help men in grow in maturity and explore different aspects of manhood. features new weekly blog posts, daily social media updates and a powerful resources page. Stay up to date with the Manturity blog communities on Facebook and Twitter.

For the original article, visit

Best Magazine Deal. Subscribe now and get 3 magazines for the price of 1. Get Charisma, SpiritLed Woman and Ministry Today, all for $24. YES - I want this deal!

3 Reasons Why you should read Life in the Spirit. 1) Get to know the Holy Spirit. 2) Learn to enter God's presence 3) Hear God's voice clearly! Click Here to draw closer to God!

Your Turn

Comment Guidelines
View/Add Comments
  • Rev. Samuel Rodriguez was the first Hispanic pastor in history to pray at a presidential inauguration.

    At Trump Inauguration, Charismatic Leaders Pray Boldly in Jesus' Name. Is This Foreshadowing a New Day in America?

    It was an amazing day to let religious freedom ring in America.

  • Pastor Jim Garlow in a file photo shown praying.

    Conservative Christian Leaders Gather in DC, Calling Trump's Election an Answer to Prayer

    "Although the news media is predicting protests, what I'm seeing is that everyone is abuzz ...

  • Donald Trump certainly needs your prayers.

    Why You Must Pray for Donald Trump

    Here are eight ways I plan to intercede for President Trump regularly.

  • When I flew into D.C. yesterday, there were so many Secret Servicemen on the plane I wondered what was going on!

    Jennifer LeClaire Releases Urgent Prophetic Warning Over Washington, D.C.

    When I flew into D.C. yesterday, there were so many Secret Servicemen on the plane I wondered what ...

  • Here's a prophetic word for Washington, D.C.

    Prophecy: The Lord Is Raising Up Daniels in DC

    I believe we're on the precipice of a Third Great Awakening the Lord spoke to my heart about in ...

  • Does any of this reflect what's going on in your marriage?

    9 Characteristics of a Healthy Sexual Relationship for a Believer

    A healthy sexual relationship for a Christian couple takes effort, and it's worth working for.

  • Churches don't address this topic affecting women.

    The Secret Sorrow Women Carry

    This woman breaks the silence about a taboo subject to help restore many women.

  • Bishop Eddie Long died at 63.

    Bishop Eddie Long Dead at 63

    "Although his transition leaves a void for those of us who loved him dearly, we can celebrate ...

  • Continue Your Journey with the Holy Spirit

    Continue Your Journey with the Holy Spirit

    Follow God on the most fulfilling journey of your life with Encounter the Holy Spirit! Break away from past hurts and press into the One who wants a personal encounter with you.

  • Dream the Unimaginable In His Presence

    Dream the Unimaginable In His Presence

    Reach your full potential and be led by His Spirit. In His Presence takes you to a deeper understanding of who God is and how he communicates with us.

  • Set Your Spirit on Fire

    Set Your Spirit on Fire

    Receive the power and gifts that come through the Holy Spirit Baptism. Don’t go empty-handed; accept all that He has for you! His power is available to those who ask.

  • Put on the Full Armor of God

    Put on the Full Armor of God

    Break every stronghold with the power of the Holy Spirit. Use the power of your tongue to declare and decree the Word of God. Witness heaven move on your behalf.

Use Desktop Layout
Charisma Magazine — Empowering believers for life in the Spirit