New Man

Want to receive New Man by email? Sign up here
Just Say No
(Free Digital Photos)

Infidelity is a big cause for divorce in the United States. The causes for infidelity are varied and not just confined to sexual lust, but certainly lust is the starting point in most cases that later lead to adulterous sex.

This is the great conundrum of life for many men. Our DNA is pre-loaded with the strong instinct to feel attraction and desire, yet life and morality demand that we are able to control those instincts in proper balance. So how do we do that?

For the sake of our marriages, relationships or just spiritual well-being, we need to be able to find the answer. You are in a battle against sexual lust. Here is how you win:

1. Consistent prayer. Prayer is the act of communicating your thoughts, worries, hopes and dreams to God. Lift up the desires you are feeling and ask for help. God made you and knows you and can deliver you time and time again. Here are 10 Things to Pray for in Your Marriage.

2. Avoid pornography. Besides the obvious reason—that avoiding porn will help guard against lust—there are psychological reasons as well. Porn creates unrealistic expectations and desensitizes our minds toward our spouses. They can’t possibly live up to what is viewed, and would we even want them to? This pushes the focus of your sexual desires outside of the home and can only lead to paths of destruction. He are 10 Ways to Fight Pornography.

3. Use social media with caution. The benefits of the age of social networks are many. The pitfalls are equally as great. We are reunited with people from our past and introduced to those who are new. Old sparks can be renewed or new ones can be lit. For a married man, this can be extremely perilous. Always remain alert to true intentions when using social media. Here are 10 Marital Principles for Social Media.

4. Consider the consequences. Fear is a great protector. While pondering the object of your desire, also ponder the consequences of action. Do you want to wind up in couples therapy? Could your lust lead to an STD or even an addiction? If you think of these things while your desires are at their peak, you will find them quickly receding to normal levels.

5. Question your intent. Most times when our minds wander sexually, we aren’t really seeking pure sex. We are seeking to replace something missing in our lives and our relationships. For each man, these things will be specific to his experiences. Figure out the root issue and work to correct it.

6. Practice sexual intimacy. Do you remember falling in love and the feeling that nobody in the world existed except the person you loved? The reason for that is the high level of intimacy that was shared while you were getting to know each other. While there is no reset button to start the marital relationship over, there are certainly plenty of ways to regain that level of intimacy. Improving communication, date nights, passionate kissing and thoughtful gestures are just a few examples. When our minds and hearts are occupied in the right place, sexual lust has little room to operate.

7. Avoid tempting situations. The last thing you want to do is find yourself alone with the object of your lustful desires. If contact with that person is a must, then make sure it is always in a public space and others are around. Do not paint yourself into a corner where further action is possible.

8. Choose your friends wisely. When battling lust, there are plenty of people we can find who will enable that to grow even more powerful. As men, we all have friends who are single and living that lifestyle, who are married but cheating, or who are just drawn to trouble. You can still be their friend, but by all means avoid joining them in their choices.

9. Keep high standards. To be a gentleman is a choice—a very good choice, and this world today needs a great many more. Despite the vast amount of temptations life throws our way, we should hold ourselves to the highest of moral standards. Self-discipline in all areas of life leads to positive results.

10. Harness your passion. In most cases, overwhelming sexual lust is really just a desire to release the deep passion inside of you that has nothing to do with sex. Instead, direct that passion in positive directions. Volunteer at a homeless shelter. Coach a youth sports team. Mentor troubled individuals. The satisfaction that comes from building and creating will defeat the destruction that comes from succumbing to the path of sexual lust and desire.


All Pro Dad is Family First’s innovative and unique program for every father. Their aim is to interlock the hearts of the fathers with their children and, as a byproduct, the hearts of the children with their dads. At AllProDad.com, dads in any stage of fatherhood can find helpful resources to aid in their parenting. Resources include daily emails, blogs, Top 10 lists, articles, printable tools, videos and eBooks. From AllProDad.com, fathers can join the highly engaged All Pro Dad social media communities on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and Instagram.

Best Magazine Deal. Subscribe now and get 3 magazines for the price of 1. Get Charisma, SpiritLed Woman and Ministry Today, all for $24. YES - I want this deal!

3 Reasons Why you should read Life in the Spirit. 1) Get to know the Holy Spirit. 2) Learn to enter God's presence 3) Hear God's voice clearly! Click Here to draw closer to God!

Your Turn

Comment Guidelines
View/Add Comments
  • Roadblock

    6 Roadblocks That Will Stop Your Spiritual Growth

    God wants you to grow in your faith, but many of us get stuck along the way.

  • Bishop Eddie Long died at 63.

    Bishop Eddie Long Dead at 63

    "Although his transition leaves a void for those of us who loved him dearly, we can celebrate ...

  • Inner Healing Is the Fruit of the Spirit

    Inner Healing Is the Fruit of the Spirit

    I have been puzzled about the subject of inner healing for some time.

  • 2017 is the year that swords will clash.

    Prophetic Word: 2017 Will Bring a Clashing of Heaven and Hell

    "This is a time to cross over and not pull back."

  • The devil will try to silence you in any way he can. Don't give him the satisfaction.

    Satan's 2 Most Potent Lies to Render You Ineffective

    There's something in you so powerful that Satan doesn't want it out. Kyle Winkler reveals ...

  • Cindy Jacobs

    2017: Year of the Breakthrough

    "There will be a significant increase in miracles and signs and wonders."

  • Foot washing

    Shaking the Gates of Hell With a Basin of Water and a Towel

    "When I saw His foot, I knew He had come to take back territory the enemy had stolen from His ...

  • Growing relationship

    2017 Prophetic Word: The Supernatural Key to Growing Your Relationship With God

    It's vital that we understand what comes from God and what comes from the devil.

  • Are you willing to volunteer for God's offensive army?

    Prophetic Word: Preparing for God's World War 3

    God is searching for soldiers of the cross who are willing to volunteer for His offensive army.

  • Continue Your Journey with the Holy Spirit

    Continue Your Journey with the Holy Spirit

    Follow God on the most fulfilling journey of your life with Encounter the Holy Spirit! Break away from past hurts and press into the One who wants a personal encounter with you.

  • Dream the Unimaginable In His Presence

    Dream the Unimaginable In His Presence

    Reach your full potential and be led by His Spirit. In His Presence takes you to a deeper understanding of who God is and how he communicates with us.

  • Set Your Spirit on Fire

    Set Your Spirit on Fire

    Receive the power and gifts that come through the Holy Spirit Baptism. Don’t go empty-handed; accept all that He has for you! His power is available to those who ask.

  • Put on the Full Armor of God

    Put on the Full Armor of God

    Break every stronghold with the power of the Holy Spirit. Use the power of your tongue to declare and decree the Word of God. Witness heaven move on your behalf.

Use Desktop Layout
Charisma Magazine — Empowering believers for life in the Spirit