New Man

Want to receive New Man by email? Sign up here
Wedding rings Bible
( © Rangerx | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images)

This is a tough post for me to write. You see, I’ve written hundreds of posts about marriage. However, I came to the startling realization that recently I’ve been writing and speaking about how to have a great marriage, but I haven’t been putting all of it into practice.

Oh, sure, I’ve done a lot of these things. But I have not gone after it with great zeal and passion like I should.

I really feel bad about it. It makes me sad that, over the past year, instead of giving my wife, Susan, my freshest and best, she’s received my leftovers. And there is no excuse for that.

But I had to ask myself “Why?” Well, I didn’t realize it, but there are several things that have kept me from being the kind of husband I need to be to Susan. Here are a few:

  • House flood and move. The "My Family Is Houseless but Not Homeless" blog post explains what happened.
  • Writing books. I spent quite a bit of time writing the All Pro Dad book that was released last year, and Susan was in the middle of writing her first book, The Passionate Mom.
  • Speaking at fatherhood, parenting and marriage conferences and events around the country.
  • Financial pressures. Unexpected expenses from our home flood coupled with school and college tuitions consumed much money, time and energy.
  • Health challenges with several family members.
  • The rut. It’s easy to get stuck in the rut of daily routines and the cares of the world without even realizing it. The rut can keep us from being on the correct relational course.
  • Oh, and by the way, I am responsible for serving you and millions of others through Family First and our All Pro Dad, iMOM and Family Minute programs.

So, there you have it. But what am I doing about it? Here is my initial action plan:

1. I’m reviewing several of my blog posts that I think will greatly help me and give me some ideas. The ones I’m reading are:

2. I’m vowing that I will not speak harshly or critically to Susan.

3. I’m putting reminders at the top of my calendar every day of things I need to say to, and do for, Susan. Susan’s “love language” is words of affirmation and encouragement, so I’m going to especially focus on that. My plan is to use sticky notes, texts and face-to-face time to use words to build up and encourage her.

4. I’m going to make date nights with Susan a priority. Some will be scheduled and some will be spontaneous.

5. I’m going to have “service days” for Susan. Yes, we should serve our spouses every day, but a service day will be a day that I am doing anything and everything she wants me to do. For example, yesterday Susan needed to spend the entire day working on a speech she needs to give this week. So I made it a “serve Susan day.” I did laundry, watered the flowers, went to the grocery store, cooked dinner, washed the dogs and brought her refreshments.

That’s my initial plan, but I want to expand it. Would you please share your ideas of other things I can add to my marriage action plan?


Mark Merrill is the president of Family First. For the original article, visit familyfirst.com.

Best Magazine Deal. Subscribe now and get 3 magazines for the price of 1. Get Charisma, SpiritLed Woman and Ministry Today, all for $24. YES - I want this deal!

3 Reasons Why you should read Life in the Spirit. 1) Get to know the Holy Spirit. 2) Learn to enter God's presence 3) Hear God's voice clearly! Click Here to draw closer to God!

Your Turn

Comment Guidelines
View/Add Comments
  • Roadblock

    6 Roadblocks That Will Stop Your Spiritual Growth

    God wants you to grow in your faith, but many of us get stuck along the way.

  • 2017 is the year that swords will clash.

    Prophetic Word: 2017 Will Bring a Clashing of Heaven and Hell

    "This is a time to cross over and not pull back."

  • Inner Healing Is the Fruit of the Spirit

    Inner Healing Is the Fruit of the Spirit

    I have been puzzled about the subject of inner healing for some time.

  • Bishop Eddie Long died at 63.

    Bishop Eddie Long Dead at 63

    "Although his transition leaves a void for those of us who loved him dearly, we can celebrate ...

  • The devil will try to silence you in any way he can. Don't give him the satisfaction.

    Satan's 2 Most Potent Lies to Render You Ineffective

    There's something in you so powerful that Satan doesn't want it out. Kyle Winkler reveals ...

  • Cindy Jacobs

    2017: Year of the Breakthrough

    "There will be a significant increase in miracles and signs and wonders."

  • Foot washing

    Shaking the Gates of Hell With a Basin of Water and a Towel

    "When I saw His foot, I knew He had come to take back territory the enemy had stolen from His ...

  • Growing relationship

    2017 Prophetic Word: The Supernatural Key to Growing Your Relationship With God

    It's vital that we understand what comes from God and what comes from the devil.

  • Are you willing to volunteer for God's offensive army?

    Prophetic Word: Preparing for God's World War 3

    God is searching for soldiers of the cross who are willing to volunteer for His offensive army.

  • Continue Your Journey with the Holy Spirit

    Continue Your Journey with the Holy Spirit

    Follow God on the most fulfilling journey of your life with Encounter the Holy Spirit! Break away from past hurts and press into the One who wants a personal encounter with you.

  • Dream the Unimaginable In His Presence

    Dream the Unimaginable In His Presence

    Reach your full potential and be led by His Spirit. In His Presence takes you to a deeper understanding of who God is and how he communicates with us.

  • Set Your Spirit on Fire

    Set Your Spirit on Fire

    Receive the power and gifts that come through the Holy Spirit Baptism. Don’t go empty-handed; accept all that He has for you! His power is available to those who ask.

  • Put on the Full Armor of God

    Put on the Full Armor of God

    Break every stronghold with the power of the Holy Spirit. Use the power of your tongue to declare and decree the Word of God. Witness heaven move on your behalf.

Use Desktop Layout
Charisma Magazine — Empowering believers for life in the Spirit