New Man

Want to receive New Man by email? Sign up here
Man on Internet
(© Amorphis | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images)

Social media has given us the great advantage of connecting with people we would otherwise never be able to. Geographical limits are no longer an issue. Communities are no longer built around proximity but around “friendship.”

This gateway of interacting with others has its advantages but also its share of challenges.

Few people understand protocol, yet it is one of the most powerful relational principles that can impact your life. Protocol is what allows access to you. No one has an inherent right to your life.

When you open the gate and allow someone into your life, you are inviting his or her influence, his or her possible request or demand, and perhaps his or her instruction. Every person you allow into your life will have an affect on it, but not every relationship will be a positive one.

It is important to establish a standard of protocol for your personal community. The information you share is being broadcast throughout the community, so it is important that you are very careful what you share. It is also important that you monitor your community for those who qualify to stay in your community.

Access is first a reward, then a continual test. Remember, not everyone has a right to be in your life. If you determine someone no longer warrants access, close the gate.

Access authorizes a person to assess your true value. Access is a two-way street. While you should carefully monitor what you allow into your life, remember that others will be doing the same with the access they have granted to you.

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Eph. 4:29)

Access is a gift, not a right. You must monitor the line of respect and familiarity. If a person crosses that line, you must either push back or eliminate the gift of access.

I recently had someone boldly rebuke something that I had posted. My statement was not just an opinion but also a scriptural principle. This person’s exclamation points and abrasive words were incredibly out of line. (His sloppy misspellings didn’t help his case either.) After attempting to reason with him, I realized he was not looking for wisdom but for a fight. I simply unfriended him. No more access. Gate closed. Problem solved.

The restoration of access must follow protocol. If a person offends you, it is important that you honor the system of forgiveness; however, most people are flippant when extending forgiveness. They simply say, “Well, I must forgive.” Forgiveness should also follow a process of protocol.

A former employee who had stolen from me called me out of the blue, apparently thinking a trivial phone call would gain my forgiveness of his trespass. When I answered the phone, he said, “Neil, I am in the hotel lobby, and I have a few things I need to say.”

He was expecting me to drop my schedule and grant him immediate access. That wasn’t going to happen.

I replied, “No, you do not have access to me. You need to practice protocol. Write me a formal letter expressing your request and I will read and reply in kind.”

When this gentleman wrote the letter, I was able to reply with a complete release of his debt to me. Few people understand this level of protocol, but it is vital to operating in true forgiveness.

So, as you enlarge your community, realize that access is a gate that must be opened and closed. For a biblical example of allowing and restricting access, study John 10, where Jesus said, “I am the gate.”

For the original article, visit Fivestarman was founded in 2008 by Neil KennedyKennedy has passionately promoted God’s Word for 25-plus years of ministry. He is known for practically applying biblical principles that elevate people to a new level of living. As a business, church, ministry and life consultant, Kennedy has helped others strategize the necessary steps to reach their full potential.

Draw closer to God. Experience the presence of the Holy Spirit every month as you read Charisma magazine. Sign up now to get Charisma for as low as $1 per issue.

Get to know the Holy Spirit and how to interact with Him on a daily basis. Learn to enter God's presence and hear His voice clearly for yourself! Go deeper in your faith with Life in the Spirit and change your life and destiny. Are you ready to start your journey?

Your Turn

Comment Guidelines
View/Add Comments
  • There are some ways the Holy Spirit will never lead you.

    4 Ways the Holy Spirit Does Not Lead You—and 1 Big Danger

    Wrong teaching, ignorance, laziness and a failure of the five-fold to equip the saints for the work ...

  • Chuck Pierce

    Prophetic Word: 'The Winds of Heaven Are Now Entering the Earth'

    Chuck Pierce says we need to brace ourselves.

  • What if You Could Save $500 This Week?

    What if You Could Save $500 This Week?

    Start saving for emergencies today with the $500 Savings Challenge by brightpeak financial. It's chock-full of inspiration, great savings tips and the motivation to make a dent in your savings—for real! Go to to sign up!

  • Lee's ministry photo

    10 Ways to Pray for a Troubled America

    God is always willing to rescue His people if they pray.

  • Hillary Clinton

    What if Hillary Clinton Wins the White House?

    Polls have Mrs. Clinton leading by 11 points. The church must be prepared.

  • Low-Rate Church Loans Available!

    Low-Rate Church Loans Available!

    Whether it's purchasing a property, remodeling or refinancing, Christian Community Credit Union has a loan package that's customized for your budget and situation.

  • Holy Spirit prophetic

    7 Ways to Cultivate Sensitivity to the Holy Spirit

    Too many of God's people are led by fear, doubt, man-pleasing, presumption, assumption, idols ...

  • God doesn't usually shout, so you should listen carefully.

    What Happens When You Actually Listen to God

    It will surprise—and most likely shock—you.

  • Is there any unconfessed sin in your life?

    Scripture Says Pain, Health and Sin Share This Unexpected Connection

    If you're experiencing chronic pain, this may offer you the answer you need.

  • Guarding the gates of your heart will keep the demonic and evil out of your life.

    Keep the Demonic Out of Your Life With This Oft-Overlooked Spiritual Warfare Strategy

    The enemy knows his limitations. Limit him.

  • Continue Your Journey with the Holy Spirit

    Continue Your Journey with the Holy Spirit

    Follow God on the most fulfilling journey of your life with Encounter the Holy Spirit! Break away from past hurts and press into the One who wants a personal encounter with you.

  • Dream the Unimaginable In His Presence

    Dream the Unimaginable In His Presence

    Reach your full potential and be led by His Spirit. In His Presence takes you to a deeper understanding of who God is and how he communicates with us.

  • Set Your Spirit on Fire

    Set Your Spirit on Fire

    Receive the power and gifts that come through the Holy Spirit Baptism. Don’t go empty-handed; accept all that He has for you! His power is available to those who ask.

  • Put on the Full Armor of God

    Put on the Full Armor of God

    Break every stronghold with the power of the Holy Spirit. Use the power of your tongue to declare and decree the Word of God. Witness heaven move on your behalf.

Use Desktop Layout
Charisma Magazine — Empowering believers for life in the Spirit