New Man

Want to receive New Man by email? Sign up here
Couple fighting
(David Castillo Dominici/

We’re surrounded by a very confused culture—a culture of disorder. It seems as if everything is out of whack.

Sexual promiscuity is now the norm rather than the exception. Magazine headlines shout in bold letters the amazement that this season’s “Bachelor” is a virgin. Wow! What an utterly victorian concept—in the world’s eyes.

While singles are living it up sexually, another amazing thing is happening within marriages. It’s a phenomenon that has become a common joke: married couples abstaining from sexual intimacy.

I recall when it was revealed to me in a counseling session that a married couple had only had two nights of sexual intimacy in their nine years of marriage. I wish I had a picture of my face when they told me that. I could not withhold a stunned look.

“Are you kidding me?" I blurted out. "What? You mean this week. Right?”

Recently I read several comments on the ManUp app after a husband revealed he and his wife had withheld sexual intimacy for months. Other men revealed they were in the same circumstance.

Men, this is not healthy, nor is it scriptural. Sexual intimacy is a requirement in a healthy marriage. The apostle Paul even warned that we should not be deprived by that lack of coming together.

“Do not deprive on another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control” (1 Cor. 7:5, ESV).

The word used for deprive here is pretty strong. In fact, it can mean "to be defrauded." It's used to describe a person who is not present at the right time, someone who is withdrawing, who causes to fail or to take away from. If a husband or wife deprives their spouse of sexual relations, it is a serious breach of the marriage and could have devastating results.

Paul warns that our nemesis, Satan, looks for this as an opportunity to gain advantage over us. Satan looks for gaps in our relationships, and abstaining from sexual intimacy gives him room to take advantage of the marriage.

Marriage is the unity of two people becoming one. It is a decision to serve and care for the other as yourself, whether in bed or not. What is actually done in the bed is not for public discussion—that should remain holy and intimate. But the fact that couples are withholding from one another is not only strongly warned against, it is also simply not healthy in marriage.

The only exception for a withdrawing of intimacy is for a short season that is devoted to prayer and fasting—yet Paul warns us to not make this a prolonged season. Do not fall prey to the fads and whims of this world.

For the original article, visit Fivestarman was founded in 2008 by Neil KennedyHe has passionately promoted God’s Word for 25-plus years of ministry. He is known for practically applying biblical principles that elevate people to a new level of living. As a business, church, ministry and life consultant, Kennedy has helped others strategize the necessary steps to reach their full potential.

Draw closer to God. Experience the presence of the Holy Spirit every month as you read Charisma magazine. Sign up now to get Charisma for as low as $1 per issue.

Get to know the Holy Spirit and how to interact with Him on a daily basis. Learn to enter God's presence and hear His voice clearly for yourself! Go deeper in your faith with Life in the Spirit and change your life and destiny. Are you ready to start your journey?

Your Turn

Comment Guidelines
View/Add Comments
  • Chuck Pierce is calling the month ahead "critical."

    Chuck Pierce Prophesies 'Short, 10-Year Window' in the Nations

    Russia is a big part of what he sees.

  • Warring angels

    Prophetic Word: 'I Saw Angels at Almost the Speed of Light'

    Here is why you must pray them through for yourself and for your nation.

  • Get the answer to your challenging circumstance in this insight from James 1:5.

    Early Warning Signs You're About to Make a Terrible Decision

    Is Holy Spirit sounding off these alarms in your life?

  • This revivalist had a vision of hell.

    Revivalist: I Went to Hell in a Dream

    After God took him on a prophetic journey, John Burton left with an important message for the ...

  • A bit of flirting may seem innocent, but it can lead to destructive behavior.

    3 Do's and Don'ts When Communicating With Women Other Than Your Wife

    Do you and your wife have any other rules for communicating with the opposite sex?

  • Cindy Jacobs is encouraging intercessors across the country to pray to keep the nation stabilized through December 19th.

    Cindy Jacobs Issues Critical Post-Election Prayer Alert

    Will you keep watching and praying?

  • Fidel Castro

    Castro Couldn't Kill Christianity in Cuba

    The sober truth is the world is a safer place now that Cuba's dictator is dead.

  • Don't let pornography impede God's plan for your life.

    How Watching Pornography Ruins the Destiny God Has for You

    If the devil can seduce you, he can reduce you.

  • Continue Your Journey with the Holy Spirit

    Continue Your Journey with the Holy Spirit

    Follow God on the most fulfilling journey of your life with Encounter the Holy Spirit! Break away from past hurts and press into the One who wants a personal encounter with you.

  • Dream the Unimaginable In His Presence

    Dream the Unimaginable In His Presence

    Reach your full potential and be led by His Spirit. In His Presence takes you to a deeper understanding of who God is and how he communicates with us.

  • Set Your Spirit on Fire

    Set Your Spirit on Fire

    Receive the power and gifts that come through the Holy Spirit Baptism. Don’t go empty-handed; accept all that He has for you! His power is available to those who ask.

  • Put on the Full Armor of God

    Put on the Full Armor of God

    Break every stronghold with the power of the Holy Spirit. Use the power of your tongue to declare and decree the Word of God. Witness heaven move on your behalf.

Use Desktop Layout
Charisma Magazine — Empowering believers for life in the Spirit