New Man

Want to receive New Man by email? Sign up here
Happy couple
(© Ersler | Dreamstime Stock Photos)

I had an 84-year-old seminary professor that I asked, “When does a man stop enjoying sex?”

He said, "Well, Kenny, I don’t know, but it’s sometime after 84."

I thought, Dude, you are my hero!

If you have been married a long time and have settled into an emotional existence with your spouse, or if you have settled with your sexual life, don’t write yourself a hall pass out of this. God has created us as sexual beings. It’s a powerful tool for us, and no matter how old we are, it can be a force for good.

Let me tell you about our direction in this series. Guys like to know which way they’re headed. Here’s what we are going to talk about: sex, men, trends, culture and dynamics. Then we will wade into this topic of sex and menand talk about God’s mind on this issue.

As we take the journey into the series, the filter in this discussion is sex as God designed it for us—understanding that sex is God’s gift to us. My goal in the next several articles and videos is to help you realize the value of your sexuality.

A lot of times we are not told about the value of sexuality. We are often ashamed about it. We were told not to explore it. We were told we had to stay away from it. We follow the outside rules about it but then end up living totally secret lives engaging it.

This is all about God’s design and His gift. If it’s God’s design and gift, then it intrinsically has God’s value attached to it. When you assign value to anything, you stop misusing it and start enjoying it. The rub in this for us is that we’ve been fed a failed sexual brand. That sex is how you see it in the media, but it isn’t that way. When we misuse sex, we damage ourselves and others.

But here’s the big thing. What you will never see in a movie is exactly how sex, when it is misused or abused by individuals, damages them and damages their relationship with God.

Understand this. The Dark One—do you want to know what he knows? He knows that if you misunderstand God’s gift of sex, you will absolutely misuse it. In doing so, this will create lasting consequences for generations, particularly with your sons and your daughters. He knows how to get to men. He knows how powerful sex is in our lives.

That is why we are going to bust out of the silence and take this topic head-on—to supply you with God’s truth. That’s the direction of where we are headed. We are going to tee it up and talk about sex and the body, sex and the mind, and sex and the soul and spirit.

What’s going on out there? I looked at Esquire magazine’s sex survey. I looked at Health Magazine and Men’s Health. Here are some of the trends that are going on with men ages 20 to 70.

Forty-one percent of men say they are satisfied with their sex life. Twenty-two percent say they have no sex life. Married men are 25 percent more likely to say that they are very satisfied than their single buddies. You wouldn’t think that, watching Road Trip or some of these movies that portray the married guy as the guy stuck, morally constipated. Totally not true.

What about women? Surveys actually show that the most sexually satisfied women are married, religious women. You will never hear that portrayed in movies or in the media. There is something to this monogamy thing!

He created them. Man and woman. The two will become one flesh. The science of sex satisfaction all points to married men as the most satisfied. Seventy-five percent of men believe strongly in the institution of marriage.

There is a down side: 34 percent of men in committed relationships have cheated on their current partner or spouse.

Here‘s the irony: A third of us are cheating on our spouses while we are in a committed relationship, but 75 percent of us believe that marriage is a good thing. Men were asked the following question: If there were no chance of you getting caught by your wife for having an affair, how likely would you be to cheat? The answers came back as follows: 37 percent said not very likely, 36 percent said not at all likely, 18 percent said somewhat likely and 4 percent said very likely.

Isn’t it interesting how belief and behavior are at odds with each other? It shows us there is a huge battle in the souls, spirits and minds of men because of the way God designed us sexually.

Let’s talk about number of partners: 13 percent of men have had one sexual partner, 23 percent have had two to five partners, and then there are the wild rabbits, with 22 percent of men who have had 20 or more partners.

Here’s more research: 33 percent of Christian men have looked at porn in the last week, and 33 percent of men who classify themselves as born-again believers in their 20s believe that cohabitation is acceptable.

Men were asked, Do you keep photographs of your old girlfriends? Seventy-five percent said no, but with the advent of Facebook, the same 75 percent of men have searched for their past girlfriends or made connection with them.

Click here to read Part 1 of this series.

Note: This is the second in a four-part series Every Man Ministries is calling “The Sex Series,” where God’s men receive the best from God’s gift of sexual intimacy. Sex is physical, mental and spiritual, and God wants us to use this gift in the way He intended it to be enjoyed. This series will help you understand sex through the lens of Scripture. It will teach you to understand what God expects from His sons when it comes to sex and sexual intimacy.

Kenny Luck is the founder of Every Man Ministries and the men’s pastor at Saddleback Church. His 20th book, Sleeping Giant: No Movement of God Without Men of Godis the proven blueprint for men’s ministries and was recently released through B&H Publishing. Watch and read more of Kenny’s teaching at Follow Every Man Ministries now on Facebook, Twitter (@everymm) and YouTube.

Sign up now to receive Every Man Ministries’ FREE Email Newsletter.

Draw closer to God. Experience the presence of the Holy Spirit every month as you read Charisma magazine. Sign up now to get Charisma for as low as $1 per issue.

Get to know the Holy Spirit and how to interact with Him on a daily basis. Learn to enter God's presence and hear His voice clearly for yourself! Go deeper in your faith with Life in the Spirit and change your life and destiny. Are you ready to start your journey?

Your Turn

Comment Guidelines
View/Add Comments
  • Hillary Clinton

    What if Hillary Clinton Wins the White House?

    Polls have Mrs. Clinton leading by 11 points. The church must be prepared.

  • Holy Spirit prophetic

    7 Ways to Cultivate Sensitivity to the Holy Spirit

    Too many of God's people are led by fear, doubt, man-pleasing, presumption, assumption, idols ...

  • What if You Could Save $500 This Week?

    What if You Could Save $500 This Week?

    Start saving for emergencies today with the $500 Savings Challenge by brightpeak financial. It's chock-full of inspiration, great savings tips and the motivation to make a dent in your savings—for real! Go to to sign up!

  • Guarding the gates of your heart will keep the demonic and evil out of your life.

    Keep the Demonic Out of Your Life With This Oft-Overlooked Spiritual Warfare Strategy

    The enemy knows his limitations. Limit him.

  • Highway exit signs

    Prophetic Word: Watch for the Exit Signs to Light Up This Season

    Don't be afraid to get your hands dirty in the harvest fields. The "barnyard anointing" ...

  • There Are Times in History...

    There Are Times in History...

    While who becomes president is significant, the truth is, the change America desperately needs does not begin in Washington, D.C.

  • Finger pointing

    The Accuser vs. Donald Trump—and Us All

    This isn't a political persuasion piece, but a current-event case study in the strategies of ...

  • Passivity can be a real relationship killer.

    One Toxic Temptation Many Men Face—And How to Overcome It

    And no, it's not pornography or adultery.

  • Daily scripture reading, meditation and prayer can seem elusive with your busy schedule.

    10 Small Steps to Deeper Intimacy With Holy Spirit in Your Quiet Times

    If deep quiet times seem just out of your reach with your busy schedule, try one of these ...

  • Jezebel puppets

    10 Ways to Spot Jezebel's Spiritually Slick Undercover Con Artists

    It's time to stop tolerating Jezebel in all its many manifestations.

  • Continue Your Journey with the Holy Spirit

    Continue Your Journey with the Holy Spirit

    Follow God on the most fulfilling journey of your life with Encounter the Holy Spirit! Break away from past hurts and press into the One who wants a personal encounter with you.

  • Dream the Unimaginable In His Presence

    Dream the Unimaginable In His Presence

    Reach your full potential and be led by His Spirit. In His Presence takes you to a deeper understanding of who God is and how he communicates with us.

  • Set Your Spirit on Fire

    Set Your Spirit on Fire

    Receive the power and gifts that come through the Holy Spirit Baptism. Don’t go empty-handed; accept all that He has for you! His power is available to those who ask.

  • Put on the Full Armor of God

    Put on the Full Armor of God

    Break every stronghold with the power of the Holy Spirit. Use the power of your tongue to declare and decree the Word of God. Witness heaven move on your behalf.

Use Desktop Layout
Charisma Magazine — Empowering believers for life in the Spirit