A well-known cliché declares, “All that women really want is to be loved, and all that men really want is to be respected.”
Generalizations are seldom ironclad, but it follows that men who love their wives tend to be respected, and that women who respect their husbands tend to receive love. It’s also true that the best way to get what we need from our wife is to both give her what she needs and to give her what we need.
Respect is a huge issue for men in 21st-century America, and when men don’t feel respected, they don’t always handle it well. Mostly, respect is something we have to earn. It can’t be taken, and it doesn’t just fall out of the sky. Here are 7 ways to earn your wife’s respect.
Treat her with respect. Make sure your wife knows how much you value and appreciate her. Don’t take a chance on this. Express it often. Take a look at this All Pro Dad Article for tips on how to Tune In To Your Wife.
Never demand respect. When we raise our voice, berate, bully, and otherwise posture or attempt to coerce respect, then we’re moving in exactly the wrong direction.
Be a servant-leader in your home. When men demonstrate humility, grace, and mercy at home, the strength of character that defines them as servant-leaders commands the kind of respect that is rooted in love and appreciation.
Consistently put other people first, including her. Leaders who act like they are the most important person in the room get both obedience and rebellion. But leaders who put others first tend to be followed and loved. Are you putting her first? Read here on how to tell what's most important to you.
Always follow through on your promises. One indicator of integrity is a consistent level of follow-through when it comes to keeping promises. And a byproduct of integrity is respect. If your wife knows where you stand, and she can expect you to follow-through, then respect is part of the package.
Volunteer in the community. Help organize a neighborhood cleanup, become active in the PTA, join a team at church, help out with your kids’ sports teams. Take consistent time and trouble to lift others up.
Carry your weight around the house. Quietly, yet consistently, be a more visible, viable, and valuable member of your own household. That might mean taking responsibility for the kids’ homework, staying on top of the laundry backlog, being a leader in terms of respecting on-time dinner, organizing cleanup every other day, or being “chores king” every Saturday. The possibilities are endless, but the principle is the same.
Here’s an article to help remind you What Your Wife is Worth.
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