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Vows aren’t automatic. Vows aren’t magic. Vows don’t keep themselves. Men, it’s up to us to keep the vows we spoke to our wives.

Every morning I see that black-and-white picture of our wedding day. Every time I look at that picture I remember the vows I spoke to my wife. I love my wife so much. I always will. Come hell or high water, I’m keeping my vows. Doing so requires God’s power and a good plan.

We are seeking to do for our wives what God has already done for us. When we least deserved it, God started a relationship wish us and spoke vows of love over us. He began planning his relationship with us long before he created us.

Think about it. God has made vows with you that he plans to keep, no matter what. Remember the vows God has made to you, remember the vows you have made to your wife, and come up with a fresh plan for how to keep those vows—how to date your wife.

“When I passed by you again and saw you, and behold, you were at the age for love, and I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered your nakedness; I made my vow  to you and entered into a covenant with you, declares the Lord God, and you became mine” (Ezek. 16:8).

The following are a few ideas on how to date your wife:

  • Make dinner for your wife.
  • Remind your wife of the gospel.
  • Do something with your wife that both of you are scared to do.
  • Lose a marriage fight. Let your wife win.
  • Detect the one thing you do that most annoys your wife and stop doing it.
  • Cuddle with your wife.
  • Watch the kids and send your wife out to a local coffee shop.
  • Set a weekly date night. Each week rotate going out and staying in for your date.
  • Give your wife a massage.
  • Criticize your wife less. Compliment your wife more.

The preceding is a except from Justin Buzzard’s book, Date Your Wife.

Justin Buzzard is founder and lead pastor of Garden City Church in Silicon Valley. Buzzard has been dating his wife for nine years and is the father of three young sons. He speaks widely, writes at, and is the author of Date Your Wife, Why Cities Matter, and Consider Jesus.

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