We must be very careful not to pass judgment upon our children. God is the judge. Our flesh wants to predict and dictate the verdict. We must be moved by faith in God’s Word and not by our feelings and emotions.
Parents must learn to do as many things as they possibly can to encourage their children into becoming what God intended them to become. This includes:
• Loving them unconditionally
• Praying and interceding on their behalf
• Engaging in spiritual warfare against demonic forces coming against them
• Being a reflection of God’s mercy and compassion
• Creating a peaceful environment at home
• Being a peacemaker
• Treating them with as much respect as you would give to a guest
• Administering reasonable punishment as required
• Keeping your word and promises
• Apologizing when you have wronged them
• Controlling your temper and temper tantrums
• Never screaming or yelling
• Not doing or saying anything that you do not want your children to imitate
Learn to separate the sin from the child without condoning the sin. Always allow God’s love to flow through you. There is sufficient cause for a child to continue in disobedience when parents continue to tell him that he is not good enough, he will never amount to anything or he will never make it.
Reinforcing negative behavior only leads to more rebellion. Remember that children are just that—they are children, not small adults. For example, if they accidentally spill a glass of milk, try to treat them in the same way that you would treat a visitor who spilled a glass of water. Your self-control can create incredible benefits for you and your family. It is worth the effort to thoughtfully teach and lovingly correct your children.
It is up to parents to control their own tempers, emotions, minds and behavior. Parents must repent before God for their out-of-control emotions and behavior. It is important to ask the forgiveness of children who are still at home or of children who are away from home who have endured out-of-control emotions or behavior of the parents.
It is important for children to know that their parents are taking a stand in order to please the Lord in all things. Children need to know that their parents love them and that they are praying for them. It is important to leave the past behind and create a positive future. God is able to heal any hurt, no matter how devastating the wounds or how deep the scars.
As God restores each person to wholeness, it is easier to embrace each new day. Your children will learn that God is real when they see how much you trust God, how well you serve Him and how much your behavior has changed toward loving each one of them as unique gifts from God.