I thought we were good together, and then you do this to me. You seemed to be there every time I needed you. I thought you made my life better and that we were the perfect team.
You listened when I cried, and your tangible presence comforted me in a way I thought none other could. But you made me feel better, if only for a few minutes, and that's all I cared about at the time.
You were my companion in the good times and bad. If I was lonely, you were right there with me. It didn't matter that I didn't know who to call because you were there. You soothed whatever pain I felt.
When I was tired, you were the one that give me the pick-me-up. You made me feel as though I had energy to go on, even if for just a few more minutes. I just knew life was better with you.
You protected me to make sure no men would get close and take advantage of me. I knew with you by my side, I was always safe.
Even in good times, you made everything better. Just one look at you, and I knew soon I would be satisfied and feel I had celebrated in the best way possible.
When I was ready to blow my top, you were there, soothing me. Just one whiff of you, and I knew all my problems were gone. You calmed me and made the anger go away. And if it came back, you were there to help me again. You always did your job.
Stress would overwhelm me, and I would run straight to you. You were the best at making me forget about everything and just focus on my needs and wants in the moment. You seemed to take care of them with just one delicious taste, and then another and another.
You comforted me in a tangible way. If the boss yelled at me, I could just eat brownies made with you and all my frustration would vanish, even if it was just for a moment.
If I had a decision that didn't seem to have a solution, I could go through the drive-in and order a huge ice cream sundae, and all of a sudden, I didn't have to make a decision. I just felt the world went away for a minute or two or three.
And when others I thought loved me failed me, turned to someone else, rejected me by ignoring me or not touching me or not speaking to me, you were always there, making it not seem to matter so much. You stepped in and made it feel like you were all I would ever need.
Now I learn with all we've been through, you have not had my best interests at heart. You have been deceiving me. As a matter of fact, you had planned a course for my demise, destruction and even eventual death.
Why would you do that to me? What did I ever do to you? You were my everything. My comforter, companion, protector, lover and friend.
I heard the doctor. I know you've been trying to kill me. And for once, I look at you and do not want you in my life any more.
Because you see, I'm choosing life (Deut. 30:10-20). I'm deciding that I'm more than a cookie or a piece of my favorite cake. I'm worth more than the best ice cream I can buy and the most decadent brownie ever made.
So this is it. We've had a long journey together and it's been downhill all the way. You no longer are in control of me.
All my life, you've been slowly destroying me, and I have been letting you.
You are not a comfort. You make me extremely uncomfortable.
You are no friend. You seek to harm me.
You do not help me have energy. You spike my energy for a minute and then, I crash and burn.
You do not give me peace when I am angry. You only help me stuff my anger to the point that impacts every part of my life.
You do not solve my stress. You add pounds to my body, which increases my stress and taxes my heart.
You do not protect me. You are the one thing that is systematically destroying me, leaving me vulnerable to every disease imaginable.
This is good-bye. You are no longer my friend. I see you for the monster you are.
Sugar, you are no lover. You are out of my life for good. Oh, and don't try coming back. I will not change my mind. The locks have been changed, and I'm not giving you the key to my heart anymore.
I know now that I've been putting you above God in my life, above my own desire to live. I will not do that any longer. God is my comforter, companion, protector. No substance can provide for me the way He can. I see you for what you are, a tool of the devil (John 10:10) in my life.
I am finally free of you and believe me, nothing tastes as good as freedom feels. Nothing!
I can finally say with confidence, "'All things are lawful to me,' but not all things are helpful. 'All things are lawful for me,' but I will not be brought under the power of anything" (1 Cor. 6:12).
Are You a Sugar Addict?
If you don't know my story, I've lost more than 260 pounds. The main thing I did was to stop eating sugar and flour. My mission is to help you break free of food bondages, strongholds and addictions and straight into the arms of the true lover of our souls, Jesus.
Teresa Shields Parker is a wife, mother, business owner, life group leader, speaker and author of Sweet Grace: How I Lost 250 Pounds and Stopped Trying to Earn God's Favor and Sweet Grace Study Guide: Practical Steps to Lose Weight and Overcome Sugar Addiction and Sweet Freedom. Get a free chapter of her memoir on her blog at Teresa Shields Parker.com. Connect with her there or on her Facebook page or Twitter.
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