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· Visit other churches.
· Ask friends and family to set up a date for you.
· Join clubs or organizations based on your interests.
· Join an online dating service.
Even singles who are being deliberate and are involving God in their matchmaking process can still wonder, Where in the world is my mate?
Society has changed, and people don’t always meet in college, in their childhood hometowns, at church or at work anymore. So what’s a single to do?
In How to Get a Date Worth Keeping, author Henry Cloud says if singles aren’t meeting other singles within their current social circles, then they need to change their “traffic patterns.” He is not suggesting that present friends, family members or choices of things to do be dropped. He advocates that more places, and therefore potentially more people, be incorporated into a single’s regular lifestyle.
loud recommends several ways to change routines:
· Visit other churches.
· Ask friends and family to set up a date for you.
· Join clubs or organizations based on your interests.
· Join an online dating service.
Although some might be hesitant to go online to find a date, using a service is not a sign of desperation, Cloud says. It is simply a tool God can and has used to bring people together. In fact, more people than ever are using the Internet to connect with other singles.
One of the most popular sites is eHarmony.com, a network with more than 17 million members, according to its Web site. Launched in 2000, eHarmony uses a scientific approach to create “compatible matches” that are based on 29 “dimensions” for predicting happier, healthier relationships.
After the eHarmony questionnaire has been completed, matches based on the results are made. The service matches its members, but then the couples have the option of having controlled communication or skipping straight to “open communication” through the site’s e-mail system.
Christiancafe.com, a Christian owned and operated site, takes a different approach. Members post profile pages that can be browsed or searched based on certain criteria.
Both eHarmony and Christiancafe represent merely the tip of the massive iceberg of online dating possibilities. Many sites, Christian and not-so Christian, exist—with services dedicated to specific cities or certain types of people—such as farmers, for example.
As with any tool, users should proceed with caution, even with a so-called Christian service. Security is not guaranteed simply because the services are online. True.com, though not a Christian dating site, is one of the few that offer background screenings of members.
If you plan to give online dating a try, you should follow a few safety tips:
· Do not use your real name as your profile or screen name.
· Do not give too much personal information.
· Use good judgment.
· Be patient. Take time to ensure you’re confident of the person’s identity.
If you take the next step—to meet a match in-person for a date—continue to exercise caution and follow a few more common-sense safety rules:
· Meet at a well-lit, public location at a common gathering hour.
· Use your own transportation.
· Tell friends and family where you’ll be and check in regularly.
· Watch for bad signs, such as displays of anger, attempts to control, inconsistencies in personal information, and a lack of details about friends or family.
· Most important, if you feel uncomfortable at any time, do not worry about being rude—just leave.
The land of online dating can be daunting territory. But God can use it to connect you with someone you might not otherwise have had a chance to meet.
Even if you don’t find your mate through a service, you will know yourself better after answering the personal questions. That alone can propel you into becoming a more desirable date—or mate.
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